And then everyone realizes that Coach is still a nutcase: "If anyone calls me Benjamin to my face, I'm gonna go nuts. My parents call me Coach. I've been called Coach since I was 18." I cannot imagine that any of that is true. I don't think Coach even was a soccer coach when he was 18, so how would he have even thought of that? And why would he want people to call him Coach when he was 18, let alone insist that everyone do so? When he was in the Amazon being kidnapped by cannibals, did he insist that they call him Coach too? And there's no way -- NO WAY -- that his parents call him Coach. That's the whole point of parents! They call you by your real, full name, even though no one else does and you hate it. My dad's parents call him "Anthony" when everyone else calls him Tony. And I can't pay my mother not to use both my first and middle (which I hate) name when she's yelling at/exasperated with me. If I were to show up on her doorstep for Thanksgiving all "Hey Mom, I write recaps of TV shows so I have decided to be called Recaps. I am now Recaps Morrison. I will answer to nothing else," she'd laugh me out of the house. And then she'd call me by my first, middle, AND last name, which she only saves for the times when she's really angry at/exasperated with me. Coach is so weird. And worried, as he says that he is now sure to be Savaii's target when the merge happens, which "just ruins [his] day."
Time to check in with Savaii. Elyse and Ozzy are in their usual spot, lying down in close proximity to each other. "You're like my little omen," Ozzy tells Elyse, whatever that means. Elyse says her alliance with Ozzy, Keith, Jim and the blonde girl is "pretty strong." So much so that they haven't bothered to talk about the next vote, whenever that is. "Which is grrrr-eat!" Elyse Tony the Tigers. She says she and Ozzy have an especially tight alliance and she's "just following his lead." "We see the game the same way," she says. That way, of course, being that you're going to win just by virtue of being so awesome and cool and popular and not have to do any work to ensure that victory. Good plan! It's certainly worked well for Ozzy in the past.
John walks by carrying lots of firewood. Ozzy has now taken to calling him "Coch-train," which the censors do not appreciate. Even though he's not saying "cock," they have to mute him. If I ever go on this show and my tribe wins the chicken reward, I am going to call the rooster a cock all day long. Elyse giggles that John is "the little Cochran that could!" So condescending and demeaning. And then Ozzy asks how to spell John's last name, which John doesn't appreciate since Ozzy is basically saying he's about to write that name down at Tribal Council. John tells him not to worry about the spelling or even the phonetics, like Elyse or Ozzy know what that word means. Doesn't John realize that the smarter he sounds, the more he alienates people who are stupid? Tone it down, Harvard. John interviews that he works as hard as he can around camp, only to see Ozzy and Elyse "wrapped up in their little love blanket" all morning long. John is starting to really dislike them.