Stacey can talk shit about her old tribe all day long if it results in Albert walking around camp in nothing but tight underwear looking for the hidden idol. He finds the clue, seeing as it's fairly obviously sticking out of a tree, and then, suddenly and sadly, he's wearing his less-revealing swimming trunks as he looks for the idol. The clue basically says the idol is stuck in a tree near the water, so Albert climbs them all and looks. But he doesn't find anything, so he decides to get Sophie and Coach in on it, figuring that it will "garnish" their trust in him if he shows them the clue. I don't think garnish is the right word here. It is, however, my new nickname now that I have a new job as a parsley spokeswoman. You all have to call me Garnish forever now, and if you don't, I'm gonna go nuts.

Albert shows the clue to Coach and Sophie, making sure to say he's only telling them because he trusts them. This pleases Coach. "It'll be our little secret," smirks the guy who claimed he wanted to play this game with honesty and loyalty. Coach says that since Albert doesn't seem to know how to find an idol in a tree, he's going to "take matters into [his] own hands" and look for it himself. He trips and cuts his foot immediately upon setting out on his mission -- nice touch, editors -- but does manage to get himself in a few trees. He has no luck, though, so he decides to pray an idol up. Because God's not busy or anything. Even if he did exist and had time for this nonsense, I'm sure Coach has to wait in line behind Li'l Li'l Russell's 952,892 daily requests for stuff. And yet, the heavens open up and an idol is revealed to Coach, so what do I know?

"Coach Wade has found the hidden immunity idol!" Coach interviews, never more pleased with himself than he is right now. This would be so much more interesting to me if I had any faith that Coach would use this thing correctly. Also, what does it say that both of the returning players have "hidden" immunity idols? Besides that letting people come back to play with a bunch of new players is a terrible idea and hidden immunity idols are way too easy to find? "A golden little gem for Coach Wade to hold onto!" Coach says, running his fingers down the decidedly not-gold necklace. He tells Sophie and Albert that he has it, then returns to the interview and says, "This is the most exciting moment in 67 days for Coach playing this game." Oh god, has it been that long? He says he's very excited, but he can't show it too much. "Dragon, just get back in there," he says. GROSS. Sophie hugs him and says she's "so happy" she's playing this game with him. Yeah, until the fact that he has an idol and she doesn't bites her in the ass.