Survivor
Taste the Victory

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Prig Roast

Jim meets with John again and says Operation: Take Out Elyse is a go. John is thrilled and says he's feeling relatively confident going into Tribal Council tonight. So confident, in fact, that he bravely says that he doesn't care if Ozzy is mad at everyone for voting out Elyse and he'll just make sure Ozzy is voted out next.

Probst opens Tribal with Ozzy, asking him, as an expert on this show, where things are now that they're a third of the way in. Ozzy says that the merge is still far off enough that they don't have to worry about trust, so tonight's vote should be about strength. Yeah, that's the answer Probst wishes every tribe would give, but it's also one of the most boring and worst ways to play this game, which is why Ozzy sucks at it. Probst asks Elyse what makes someone a strong tribemate, and she says it's someone who is "strong across the board." Challenge performance, camp chores, and "social skills and graces." Yes, nothing makes a tribe weak like a nerd who talks about herpes. Probst asks John what he thinks of Elyse's answer, seeing as how he doesn't have "tree trunks" for legs. Stop looking at and judging John's legs, Probst. That's weird. John says that the challenges test a lot of things, and not just leg strength.

Probst asks about the challenge, and if Jim has any regrets that he didn't get just a little bit more pig. Like 3 ounces more. Jim says that yes, everyone wished he had gotten just a little more to win it, but no one is blaming anyone else in particular for losing, and most of them have challenge-related injuries. Probst asks for details. Jim says the inside of his mouth and his lips are all cut up, although they look fine from what I can see. Elyse has the same thing. Ozzy has to outdo them, and says he also has a "chipped tooth" and his jaw is "a little dislocated." Well, don't hold an entire pig in your mouth just to be cute, then, idiot. Dawn repeats that her tooth is broken. The blonde girl says her lips are cut. It's a nice, short answer, and one we won't get from John, who goes off on this long explanation about how he hasn't been wearing his retainer lately, so he's sure his teeth shifted during the challenge.

This annoys Probst, so he asks Dawn if John annoys her, too. Dawn just says that John is "endearing" and "a character." But then she says that this game is teaching her to "be really tolerant." And she mentions John's herpes joke. "It was just hilarious but not," she says. "Hilarious but not" is my favorite kind of joke, by the way. Keith says John's joke was "nasty" and it didn't make people laugh as much as it grossed them all out. John makes a bunch of sad faces, and Probst asks what it'll take for him to "catch a break" with his tribe. John says his tribes' remarks are "devastating," although he's awkwardly smiling as he says this, so who knows how sincere that is? He says he's just going to have to spend the rest of the night thinking about how he doesn't fit in with his tribe again -- if he's still in the tribe by the time this is over.

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Survivor

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