Survivor

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B+ | Grade It Now!
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II II

The Erik-less Aiga return to camp on Night 21. Random Brett makes random conversation about the random things he wants to eat. Could the Survivor auction be coming up? I always look forward to the Survivor auction! Lest we forget that Li'l Russell exists and is the greatest thing ever to grace our television screens, he pops up to interview that he thought Galu was gunning for him, so he played his idol unnecessarily. Better to play it unnecessarily than be voted out while holding onto it, though, as I'm sure Erik would tell him if he weren't currently en route to the Losers Lodge. Now that he doesn't have an idol to play, he thinks he'll be going next unless a miracle happens. Because if God was going to help anyone out with anything, wouldn't it be some little troll man to win a million dollars? I think so.

Back in the shelter, the women (lead by Laura) bask in the glow of victory. Yes, what an accomplishment! You fractured your own tribe. Awesome. Ah, but Laura is also happy that they flushed out Li'l Russell's immunity idol. She interviews that playing the idol was "the dumbest move" on his part and isn't it nice to see someone calling Li'l Russell an idiot in an interview instead of the other way around? "Russell is gonna be gone next," she promises us.

The next morning, Natalie happens upon a cute little mouse-rat-thing that the producers drugged so it wouldn't run away when Natalie came crashing through its forest home. She lets loose about a million oh my goshes while trying to decide what she should use to kill it. Wow, she didn't even question it. There was no discussion as to whether or not she SHOULD kill the mouse-rat for food. Just HOW. That's kind of cool. She picks up a convenient nearby stick and hovers over the mouse-rat, which still does not move. Um, really? Is that mouse-rat really the one you want to eat? Because if it's not even trying to run away then it's probably sick. You don't want to eat sick rat. Or maybe it's fine but stuck on the glue trap the producers stuck it on because they think hot blonde girls killin' stuff will be a ratings bonanza. Finally, Natalie brings the stick down and kills the mouse-rat with many an "oh my Lord," drops it into a hollowed-out coconut, and brings it back to camp with "I killed something, y'all!" While Mick and Jaison don't even bother to sit up, Laura has the perfect reaction: "What? Ew." Natalie runs off to Li'l Russell in the hopes of praise. Random Brett is quick to congratulate her, but that's only because if he pretends he's looking down at the dead thing in the coconut, he can totally stare at her boobs. Jaison interviews that Natalie has really grown and changed during this game, having entered it as a shy and demure Southern belle. "She wasn't a Shambo," he says. And she still isn't. Can you imagine what would have happened if Shambo had been the one to find the mouse-rat? I'm sure it would have ended with her accidentally burning the camp down and the mouse-rat going on to live a long and healthy life. Random Brett cooks the mouse-rat and it is split up amongst everyone, giving them all about a grasshopper's worth of protein each. That was worth it.

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Survivor

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