Thailand: A Closer Look

Episode Report Card
Joanna: D+ | Grade It Now!
Just Peachy's Clippings

Meanwhile, at Night 1 on Sook Jai, Robb wanted Shii Devil to show him her hands, but she refused, which was exactly his point, dude. Robb wanted to sleep, and wanted to know how Shii Devil slept, but you did not mess with the Shii Devil and not get the horns, okay?

Tanya spewed watery vomit, and Chuay Gahn scaled a mountain in search of a clean drinking source.

In the first immunity challenge, Chuay Gahn proved that they weren't "a bunch of old fogies" by taking an early lead, while Grindia did nothing to prove that she wasn't "a bunch of middle-aged stupid" by screwing up the puzzle challenge. Ted yelled encouragements while Grindia screamed and jiggled obnoxiously in response.

As we go to the first Chuay Gahn Tribal Council, a new confessional from post-boot John explains how he felt. And blank-faced John could so be goon-faced Neleh's father. In any case, he reveals that he felt confident Grindia would be voted off so the first "John" vote caused a "bump in the pit of [his] heart." His heart has a pit? With the second "John" vote, he suspected that things might be headed in a bad direction; with the third, he realized that there was a secret alliance. At that point, he wanted to jump up and scream, "Stop the music!" And really, who could blame him? After five seasons I think we're all a little ripe for the occasional change of soundtrack. John tells us that the experience was "humiliating," and being voted off "hurts too bad." He expected to win the game, but now knows he'll "go down in history" as the first person voted out of the fifth season. Considering I'm hard-pressed to tell you the names of the four people voted off first in seasons one through four, it's not such a bad place to be. He's had far less opportunity to do embarrassing things which Mark Burnett would have then crafted into even more embarrassing footage to be viewed by all of John's family and friends.

With more new footage on Day 4, we learn that Ted brought a shaving kit as his luxury item. If you like to watch men cavalierly swipe very sharp instruments over their exposed pates, then this footage is for you. And if you like funky music playing in the background while said men cavalierly swipe very sharp instruments over their exposed pates, you're in even greater luck. Ted explains that he shaves his head every three days, which happens to coincide with Tribal Council. He thinks it appropriately "start[s] a new, renewed spirit." New and renewed? Well, that's pretty darned new, I guess. As Ted continues to shave and shave and shave, Brian points out that he's into the "beauty stuff, " and most likely has "facials, manicures, as well as pedicures." And really, who is Brian to talk about vanity? A shaving cream-covered Ted -- which is so much less cool-looking than a gold paint-covered Ted -- tells us that shaving gives him a new tradition and a new outlook -- "a new start over, if you will." And again with the new, and the start? He announces that shaving feels good, and boasts that the others will never know just how great a good head-shaving feels. He says nothing about how great a good grinding feels.

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