Thailand: A Closer Look

Episode Report Card
Joanna: D+ | Grade It Now!
Just Peachy's Clippings

On Day 22, Helen became Australian and ate noodles resembling her snaggleteeth.

Also that day in new footage, Clay eyeballs Erin's butt and mutters -- for likely the seven millionth time in his life -- "Nice ass." He tells Brian that he's older and wiser and wants to clue him in to Erin's fine, ahem, assets. Clay then announces that with Erin around he needs to remind himself what his wife looks like. In a giggly confessional Jan says, "He's an ass-man, apparently." She thinks it's "cute" and "darling." Clay says Erin has a "little racehorse," and adds that his wife is a "Russian racehorse." He gets himself all flustered and worked up while he tries to explain the concept of a "racehorse ass," which, judging by his gesture, has a little slope to it. Peaking at Erin, he explains she has "one of those butts that just -- you know those little racehorses prancin' out there? She's beautiful!" And if it weren't so funny, it'd be pretty disturbing. Jan tells us that Clay mentions his wife 87 times a day, and he talks about her ass too. She says it's part of his personality and shouldn't be offensive to anyone.

What is offensive is the gong and the close-up of Erin's ass while she's bent over. I mean, the competitors are lecherous pigs. Fine. But the cameramen? As Clay looks on, he says "hmmmm," before telling us in a confessional that Erin's a "neat girl," and "Isn't she a bubbaloo?" He claims that he only looks if Erin is in front of him and "they're cute little butts, I'm not gonna lie." We see shots of Erin walking away from the camera and clearly her ass is so fine even she can't resist grabbing it. As the tribe sits around the fire Clay tells us that "you could actually see the blaze glittering and glowin' on her butt." He wanted to let her know that "her butt was on fire," and not, it turns out, in the literal sense. As a delighted Clay reclines, he announces, "I can tell you right now, Erin. You got the prettiest ass around here glowin' in that fire." Erin laughs the comment off by apologizing for sticking her ass in his face, and Clay says it's fine by him; he just wanted her to know "the sun was kinda glantin' [sic] off that baby."

Later, Ken speaks aloud to Jake what we've all been thinking: "that is one crazy sonofabitch." Clay returns from fetching the treemail on Day 23. Here we learn that the tribes received a previously unrevealed reward: a new mask, snorkel and fins. Penny tells us that the men were even more "tickled" by the snorkel equipment than the women, who thought, "We can sit back and talk recipes." And that's not one of those "except for that last part" recap jokes. We see underwater shots of Jake and Brian attempting to fish while Helen tells us that they have this "Lord of the Flies dream," that they'll go out and immediately stab lots of fish, but it's very difficult to do. Brian clichés that fishing without the right spear is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

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