Colton and Alicia gloat over their "brilliant" blindside, and Colton is seriously mean to Christina. And so is Alicia. Human beings should not be that awful to one another under any circumstances, and it's tough to even watch.
Reward Challenge: Bounce coconuts off a trampoline and knock out five targets. Winner gets an afternoon at an ice cream parlor. Of course, Salani wins, although it's not a blow-out. Colton and Alicia continue to "mean girl" Christina, who retaliates by telling Jonas and Leif about Alicia's alliance with the four ladies currently on Salani. Alicia busts her doing so and they argue.
Colton gets a splitting headache and abdominal pain and Christina, of all people, comforts him. Tarzan, who is a doctor in real life, tells him to push fluids because he's dehydrated. Cut to Colton lying on the jungle floor. Christina finds him and calls in the medical team, who decide that they have to take him in to rule out appendicitis. Colton refuses to give his Immunity Idol to anyone and Alicia is screwed. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA x 1000!!!!
Both tribes are told to report to Tribal Council, where Salani finds out that Colton is gone. Alicia tells everyone that Colton left with his Idol, and they all debate whether or not to believe her. Also, Kat has never heard of the appendix and is very concerned about hers. She is seriously sub-level intelligence. And then they merge and no one is voted out. Wow, that was anti-climactic.
Manono. Night 14. The tribe returns from voting out Monica at Tribal Council, a blindside that shocked both Monica and Christina. Alicia and Colton lie in the shelter as Alicia giggles that it was "the funniest Tribal Council [she's] been to." Yes, it was hilarious how the person on your tribe who was actually kind and tried to inspire others was unceremoniously dumped. I can buy that it was a necessary move for Colton, but Alicia doesn't need to be so giddy about it, especially since I'm still not sure why she thinks it was so smart. But she clearly wants to make sure that Christina knows that she was in on it, and that she's part of the cool kids club. Alicia interviews that she originally had an alliance with the women, but she realized that they would all be eliminated once they merged, so she decided to go with the guys. So her math is that her tribe was going to eliminate a woman no matter what, since the guys had the numbers, right? But how does she know that the other tribe might not lose and eliminate some men? Or that her alliance-mate in the other tribe might not cut a deal that might be to her benefit if she sticks with them?
Alicia and Colton sit by the fire, Colton with his head annoyingly on Alicia's shoulder. Ugh, so gross. That's not for warmth. That's for showing off to the others that you are the King and Queen of the tribe. Colton tells Christina that no one will align with her and she could maybe go make an alliance with a hermit crab. He interviews that Christina will go next no matter what, and the more dispirited she is, the easier it will be to get rid of her. I don't get gloating. I really don't. Gloating assumes that you have control over the situation, when that's not the case. Whether it's the producers or God or fate or random chance or whatever you believe controls the universe, shit happens. And gloating seems to be for those who have forgotten that we, tiny humans, do not control what happens. Colton can barely suppress a laugh as he tells Christina that even if she, by "some miraculous miracle" (nice vocab there, sunshine), survives to the merge, the men and the women all hate her and will immediately vote her off. Christina just sits there with a dull look on her face. I wouldn't mind if she ignored them, because it's certainly better than interacting with them, but I wish she could at least act like she doesn't buy their bullshit instead of looking like she's a trauma victim.
Later that night, while the others are sleeping, Christina and Alicia get in a scrap because Alicia refuses to move over in the shelter so that Christina can have room to sleep. Alicia actually says that she's not going to move like two inches because Christina is going to be voted out so there's no reason to be kind to her. How about because she's a human being and you live in the world? Jesus. It's not like Christina killed your family. Even if she's annoying or mean or picks her nose and wipes the boogers on your clean laundry (just trying to figure out why everyone hates her), there's no reason to be so awful. The scrap wakes up Jonas and Colton (who looks ill, FORESHADOWING). Then they start arguing over how Alicia is difficult to work with, and how Alicia is going to smack Christina for touching her. It looks like Alicia finally moves over like a centimeter. Christina interviews that Alicia is not a good person and Colton's a jerk, and she wants others to see that. I think they know. I don't think people are basing their alliances on who would win an ethics contest. That said, this is probably Christina's only weapon at this point, so she might as well use it.