Night 7 at Camp Villains and we're 17 minutes into this show without a challenge. Which means we're probably going to get another stupid combo reward/immunity challenge. Boooo! HISSSS! But now it's time for Douche to remind us all that he sucks, as he tells the tribe about his kayaking trip adventures that are anywhere from 75% to 100% fictional. Rob makes fun of Douche to his face about his far-fetched stories while Li'l Russell goes off by himself with the machete. "I can play rough," he promises. Oh shit. He's going to kill them so they won't vote him out. That is hardcore. Oh, wait, no -- he's just hiding it because he thinks that will "cause conflict." Meanwhile, Sandra did that way back in Season 7 when she threw out those fish and it actually did cause conflict and probably saved her from being voted out next. She then went on to win the season. Li'l Russell will never be able to match that, and yet this is like the third or fourth time in his tenure on this show that he's tried. He then promises us that Rob's hat will be the next to go. Uh huh. At least Rob isn't wearing a hat to cover up the fact that he's bald, like Li'l Russell does. "I don't even like the Boston Red Sox. It's the Houston Astros, baby!" Li'l Russell says. Okay, that was funny.
On Day 8, Douche has brought out the big guns for Season 20 by adding something to his warrior pose ritual: a SONG! Yes, he sings along with his movements in what he hopes we will think is an authentic Native chant, just like Scout Cloud Lee used to do in Season 9! But she didn't do warrior poses because she was like 86 years old. Randy walks up the beach with a freshly-caught clam and we do not get to hear from him about how ridiculous Douche is. That is a missed opportunity. He offers the clam to his tribemates, but they turn him down. Desperate, he even offers some clam to Courtney, who hasn't eaten since 1998. Randy resigns himself to eating the entire clam himself and looks for a machete to crack it open, only for someone to tell him to use a rock instead, as it's more effective. So he slams it against the rock and then interviews that when he was on this show before, bringing in a teeny little fish got you all kinds of praise. That's because it was Marcus catching those teeny little fish and the praise came from his alliance of sycophants. But here, everyone is spoiled and doesn't care about his giant clam. Sandra walks over eventually and eats some of Randy's clam. Parvati also takes a bite, but says she doesn't like it and spits it out. Sandra seems fine with that, since it means more food for her. Randy sighs in an interview that this game is a lot like the real world, in that intelligence and hard work never gets you as far ahead as good looks and personality. That's probably true, but in regards to Randy, I think it's difficult to get ahead in the wedding videographer business when you go on a Top 20-rated network show and talk about how much you hate love and weddings.