Survivor

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Sara M: B- | Grade It Now!
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Special Guest Editor: Parvati Shallow

The next morning at Camp Heroes, things are still kind of awkward and everyone is off doing his own thing. Rupert says he's hoping for a rainy day that will force everyone to hang out in the shelter, where they can "play games" and "talk" and "bond." I don't think that kind of stuff really happens when you're beyond miserable, soaking wet and freezing cold and hate 50% of the people around you. And while Rupert is off by himself muttering and doing absolutely nothing, some of the men build a chicken coop together, thus having their own bonding experience that Rupert was not a part of. Oh, but then the chickens immediately escape from the homemade coop thanks to the ineptitude of its builders and the chicken hunt is on. Rupert manages to catch one with his bare hands, which I couldn't even do with all of my toe bones intact, let alone with a toe that's broken in fifty places. The second chicken is almost as stupid and the people trying to catch it and runs right into their shelter, perhaps hoping to play same games there or bond with the contestants. But only stupid Amanda is there, so the chicken leaves, running right into Tom's hands. Rupert is satisfied that the escape and re-capturing of the chickens has helped his team bond after all.

The chicken madness continues at the Villains camp, where there is a rooster roaming around. Li'l Russell makes a move towards it, but as soon as he sees that the producers are going to chain the rooster's foot to the ground to make it easy for Li'l Russell to catch, he gives up and talks to Douche about the first Tribal Council instead. Douche warns him that people are looking for any reason to target someone else to vote off first to keep themselves safe, and Li'l Russell's relationship with Parvati could be the reason they're looking for. Douche then interviews that Parvati is "the most dangerous player on our tribe," which he's probably right about. He thinks that Li'l Russell has a big stupid crush on Parvati and it's making him into a target. Although why that would upset Douche, I have no idea. Why does he care if Li'l Russell gets voted out? He should be happy it isn't Douche. Maybe they're in an alliance we don't know about yet or something. Douche says that Parvati is incredibly charming and people in the tribe are smitten by her. "It's unbelievable," he says, so jealous.

Rob walks up to find out what's going on between Douche and Li'l Russell. Li'l Russell is vague in his answers, but Douche comes right out and says he's trying to see what Li'l Russell's deal with Parvati is. Rob warns Li'l Russell to "be careful," since they all know that Parvati has friends in the Hero tribe so it's in the Villains' best interests to get rid of her along with her closest ally. Douche tells Li'l Russell that he's going to alienate himself from his own tribe, while Rob says he'll give Li'l Russell "the benefit of the doubt one time," which is more than generous in this game. Li'l Russell pretends to be cool with the guys and agree with what they're saying, then turns around and interviews that he doesn't care what Douche says, because "he's a big joke." True, and yet... Douche is making sense and being not totally hateable this season. Li'l Russell, on the other hand, sucks just as much the second time around. Li'l Russell also discounts Rob's opinion because he thinks that Rob thinks he's the king of his camp whose orders must be obeyed, when the reality (according to Li'l Russell, anyway) is that Li'l Russell is the king of this camp. He says that he'll just have to listen to Rob and do what he says "until he's gone." Which kind of sounds like Rob is the king and Li'l Russell is not. I mean, I'm no expert on monarchical states or anything, but I'm pretty sure that the king is the guy who orders everyone around and not the guy who obeys those orders while keeping his delusions of grandeur to himself. "Nobody knows who they messin' with around here!" he says. That's true, but only because his fellow contestants haven't had the advantage of watching his season before the game began.

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Survivor

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