Survivor

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Special Guest Editor: Parvati Shallow

Randy and Douche take a walk in the woods and hate on the hot women in their tribe who do no work and are weak in challenges. "Let's vote 'em out," Randy says. Douche agrees in an interview that he thinks it's "unfair" that there are people in this game who get by without doing anything. Unlike when Douche himself made it far in his first season by virtue of being weaker than, like, Debbie and thus the least likely to be an individual immunity threat. Meanwhile, Parvati, totally not concerned about any of this, gets a nice tan. Hee hee.

At the Heroes camp, Candice and J.T. talk about an alliance. Candice says that she wants to make it to the end with J.T., but apparently he only talks to her when he needs her vote for his own purposes. J.T. interviews that Candice is making him nervous with her "strategical" ways. He thinks she should be the next to go, but says it's not his decision. So he talks to Cirie and Amanda, telling them that Candice said she doesn't trust Cirie. Cirie laughs and says "oookay." Dun dun dunnnn. Candice is now screwed. J.T. interviews that he's going to lie to get rid of Candice and that he's a really good liar despite the fact that he'd like us to think that he doesn't lie in his real life.

But then! Cirie talks to Candice about what she heard instead of just assuming that J.T. is telling the truth and plotting against Candice. Candice denies telling anyone that she doesn't trust Cirie, then interviews that she doesn't know who lied to Cirie about her, but it's someone who wants to break up their alliance. She then goes around camp asking everyone if he lied about her to Cirie. Tom, Amanda, and James deny it, with James telling her to just "calm down" and "it'll be all right." That's easy for you to say when you're James and can be a total asshole without being afraid of going home for it. Also, didn't we see James freaking out all over the beach just last week and campaigning for Stephenie to go home? But now, when Candice is the one talking about stuff like this, she's overreacting and needs to "calm down?" Okay, James.

FINALLY, it's time for the challenge. And yes, it's another reward/immunity challenge. Overly dramatic battle music plays as the tribes enter the challenge area and the Villains see that Stephenie is no longer with us. Parvati's mouth makes a perfect "o" of surprise, as if this wasn't all planned between her and her friends/alliancemates Amanda, James, and Cirie before the show even began. Probst explains the challenge, which is just like it was when we first saw it in Season 10 except instead of the platform being over water, it's over a mud pit and they're playing to eight points instead of six. The winning tribe gets immunity and a reward of coffee, sugar, rice, and a basket full of luxury items that are supposed to remind them of home. We see that Candice brought a stuffed polar bear, as the home she wants to be reminded of is apparently in northernmost Canada. Cirie has a family photo album. Courtney has an ugly and seemingly useless bracelet. And James apparently brought one of the hidden immunity idols from the China season with him, which is funny but I don't see how it's actually useful. At least Cirie's photo album can be used as toilet paper. The Villains choose to sit Sandra and Courtney out and the challenge begins.

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Survivor

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