My name is Sara M, and I'll be filling in for Miss Alli this week. And I must confess two things: first, I haven't seen this show since Palau. And second, I worked on this show during the Vanuatu and Palau seasons. Which is why I don't watch it anymore: after months of nine-hour days watching footage, I figured I had enough Survivor to last a lifetime. One thing working for the show did give me, though, was an undying respect for Jeff Probst. I used to think he was a smarmy talking airhead, but he's really not. He, like, runs that show. And that's probably all I can say about the show without violating the confidentiality agreement, so on with this week's episode!
Over at the "Favorites" tribe -- and I'm sorry, but I must object to the term "Favorites," because my favorite is not here. TWILA from Vanuatu was the greatest! I loved her. I can't believe they let that ass from Pearl Islands on and not her. And to let on Ami and Eliza from Twila's season ? That's a double slap in the face. Anyway, Cirie is mad at Ami for voting for her last night, and tells her so in front of everyone, including a slack-jawed Eliza and a coconut-chopping Jonathan. Ami says that she was understandably concerned about Cirie's trustworthiness. That, and Ami got to appeal to both alliances by not casting a vote against either of them, and instead voting for someone she knew wouldn't have been voted off anyway. Jonathan interrupts the ladies to state his annoyance with Cirie. He tells the camera that Cirie saw a better opportunity and took it -- at Jonathan's expense. Well, it was mostly at Yau-Man's expense, but Jonathan's, too, I guess. "The truth is that she's much more manipulative and devious than I am," Jonathan says of Cirie. Not to mention smarter! Cirie tells us that Jonathan is "just mad that he couldn't make [her] vote the way he wanted [her] to." Actually, I think he's mad that you played him, Cirie. It's okay to say that and be proud of yourself. Own it, Cirie! Jonathan wants to yell at Cirie around the campfire some more, but she says he doesn't trust her and she doesn't trust him. "Done!" she says. The look on Jonathan's face suggests that it isn't.
After the credits, we head to the "Fans," a.k.a. three old people who actually auditioned, and a bunch of models the casting agents found at the Saddle Ranch bar on Sunset Strip who have never seen this show before. And a motley crew they are indeed! We've got an Unfrozen Caveman Firefighter and some Bob Dylan-looking clown sitting around the fire. So far, so pathetic. They wonder who was sent home last night, and figure it was between Eliza and Yau-Man. Joel tells us that there was either "distension" or "dissension" (he kind of stumbled over the pronunciation, so I'll just give him the benefit of the doubt and say he said an actual word) amongst the tribe, so winning the immunity challenge was a good thing for them. Whereas, had there been no dissension, winning the immunity challenge would have been bad, I guess? Suddenly, the producers throw an eel on the beach so that the tribe can kill it and get some protein. Kidding about the producers thing! Survivor is actually surprisingly un-manufactured. I've worked on other shows where they do multiple takes and stage stuff, but Survivor was not one of them. What you see is pretty much what happened. I'm not sure what possessed the eel to beach itself like that, but maybe it's a member of the "Fans" tribe on Eelvivor and is therefore prone to such stupid and ultimately self-defeating moves. Anyway, the eel is caught and killed by two more goofy clowns with matching girl-hair. How long have they been on the island? Eleven days? There's no excuse for hair like that. Even Robinson Crusoe probably managed to fashion some scissors and a comb out of clam shells.