Survivor
Survivor

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | 577 USERS: C+
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And Mikey Is Cooked

Back at the tribe with people we actually want to see, James sees Perennial Law School Student Eliza Chetting it up on the beach, and asks her if she's feeling okay. She's not, so James kindly offers her water or a coconut before not-so-kindly telling her to "suck it up." James's mood regulator appears to be a seesaw. Eliza tells us that she's sick and has swollen glands (uh...TMI, Eliza. I don't need to hear about your glands), and that this isn't helping her to make her case that she's not the weakest person there. Oh well, Eliza. Maybe if you ever finish law school, you'll learn how to build cases. We cut to the symbolic nature shot of a moth caught in a spider's web. Also, the spider is holding a tiny little shovel perfect for digging graves in one of his eight hands. James and Ozzy talk about how they should have voted Eliza out last night because she's dying. "We're stupid," James sighs. He tells the camera that he wants to eliminate the weak and keep the strong (yeah, right. Everyone on this show says that, but no one ever means it), but that, thanks to Cirie, he kept their weakest player in the game.

Back at camp, James and Ozzy continue to discuss how wrong they were not to vote out Eliza, and how dumb it was to vote out Yau-Man instead. "I'm still sitting right here," says Eliza. HA! James has no shame. That's funny. Might not be the smartest move, but funny. Eliza might be "weak" physically, but she's not stupid. And now she'll be gunning to get rid of James. Although everyone seems to hate her and want her gone as soon as possible anyway, so there probably isn't much magic for her to work. Then again, that's the way it was for her during her season, and she managed to make it to the final four. "You're about to die. I don't want you to die," says James. Oh, I see. He's just concerned. Because he knows that if Eliza does die, everyone's going to stand around and say, "Who should bury her? Someone should. I would, but I don't have much experience in grave-digging. If only we had someone here who did..." and then everyone's eyes will slowly focus on James and he'll have to do it. Eliza insists that she's lying around now to save up her strength for the challenge. She tells them that whatever she has is not contagious, since she's apparently a medical school student as well as a law school one. Either that, or she's faking sick and knows it, but I can't understand why she'd want to do that. She says that she'll do better in the next challenge than Yau-Man would have. "We'll see, darling," says James, so condescendingly. Aw, why be an asshole to Eliza? It's not her fault you voted for Yau-Man -- it's yours. Be an asshole to yourself if you must. Eliza tells us that James and Ozzy made her feel like crap. She tells James that this doesn't make her want to perform well in the challenge, which is an empty threat, since James clearly doesn't think she'll perform well in the challenge anyway. "You're sick AND you got attitude?" James laughs. "I hate these people. I do," Eliza tells us. She hopes they get sicker than she is and have to be removed from the game. There's another way to remove them from the game, Eliza -- get off your ass and plot and scheme and get them voted off like everyone else!

Survivor

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