Previously on Survivor, Rob "screwed the alliance." But not literally, to his dismay. Matthew won the reward challenge, and Christy loved her loved one. The rest of the S6 loved their loved ones, too. Jenna waved her insect-stick arm around at Rob for offering to take her to the Final Two. Now that's gratitude. HeiDDi said that Rob would win the game if he continued to backstab everyone, and Wing Chun pointed out the idiocy of her comment. Jenna won immunity, and Christy "I guess so"d and "I don't know"d herself into her own demise. Also, HeiDDi and Jenna covered their mouths a lot. Five are left. Who will be voted out tonight?
We pan over the scenery to Jackée on Day 34. The tribe moves in slow motion, and Jenna says she feels like she has the flu. She talks about her "phlaryngitis," which she insists is a real ailment: "Not only, like, tonsillitis but an infection of my pharynx and larynx." Except she pronounces them like "pharnyx" and "larnyx." She says, "It gets, like, really bad," and she's miserable. Matthew responds, "Wow," with absolutely no inflection in his voice. Not that he ever has inflection in his voice, but this time I'll wager it's because he really doesn't care.
While Rob folds his laundry, Jenna voice-overs that the hardest thing about the end of the game, in addition to actually playing it, is living with untrustworthy people. She claims it wears on you mentally. But having done no physical work in the last thirty-four days, she can't exactly speak to the physical-exhaustion part. HeiDDi tells Rob and Jenna that she keeps expecting more people to be at camp, but this is it: "Two crazies and us three." From a very unattractive angle, Jenna talks simultaneously to Rob and the camera as she says that things have changed because of last night's Tribal Council, and that she feels only half as betrayed as she did before. You can't really measure betrayal in fractions, though. Jenna insists that if not for Rob, either she or HeiDDi wouldn't still be there. Rob voice-overs that, "amazingly," he doesn't sense any animosity from the two girls, and that they actually seem grateful that he "saved their ass" last night. Their one collective ass. In this case, though, you can't say "their one collective giant ass," because combined, their asses are about the size of one healthy, normal-sized ass. Unless you're talking about the donkey kind of ass, in which case they add up to a pretty big one. In any case, Jenna thinks Rob needs to consider the fact that the people he screws over are going to be on the jury. Rob voice-overs that he's being completely honest with Jenna and HeiDDi, before we see him turn to HeiDDi and announce that he's going to vote for her next. Considering that he knows -- first-hand -- how well the honesty technique worked for Alex, you'd think he might be more careful. HeiDDi flatly responds, "Okay," as Rob continues telling them that Jenna will follow, but they're so close to the end of the game that immunities could change all his plans. Jenna thinks it's a "smooth move" because "even though Butch is a moron," Rob would be "a lock" in a final contest against him. Rob admits to having considered "flip flop[ping]" and finishing the game with the two women, but knows he would screw over all his allies and look like "the biggest asshole ever." Some would argue he's already accomplished that feat -- some, including HeiDDi, who snittily giggles, "And you care about that at this point?" Rob voice-overs that they received his intention to vote them off very well, and that "it seems like people don't get too mad when you tell 'em that!" He doesn't think Jenna and HeiDDi have anything up their sleeves. If they wore sleeves, that is. Which they don't, because they don't have any arms to hold them up.
We immediately cut to HeiDDi, who frantically whispers to Jenna that they got themselves this far without Rob, but that she won't tell him that. In the background, Rob obliviously fumbles around as HeiDDi curtly says, "All I know is I'm goin' home Friday." A monkey extends its leg and scratches itself, reminding me of the time I was in a chi-chi Manhattan boutique and there was a poodle in the store wearing a tutu, and it was standing in front of a mirror alternately extending its back legs and admiring itself. True story.









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