Survivor

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Suddenly Susie

Corinne gets way too close to the camera and tells us that at Tribal Council, Susie said Corinne was weaker than her. That's not exactly true, according to what I saw -- Susie only said she was stronger than Corinne in certain areas, like upper body strength. Which, just by looking at Susie and Corinne's upper bodies, doesn't appear to be a lie. "That woman is forty-seven years old. What could she possibly have over me?" Corinne wonders. Okay, I'll bite: bigger boobs. A better knowledge of the Spanish language. Hair-dressing skills. Corinne tells Susie that she's not sure that Susie won't try to vote her out at her next opportunity, and therefore she's not sure that she wants to go into the merge with Susie as an alliance member. Then I guess you should've kept Dan around, because I really do think that he would have stayed loyal. The guy was the living embodiment of a puppy. Susie tells her tribe that she won't sell them out, but then she tells us that while the rest of her alliance seems to think they have all the power over her, she feels like she has the power over all of them. I don't know about that, but it's about time we got some game talk from Silent Susie.

After the credits, we go to Fang and a shot of two dung beetles fighting over a piece of shit. Very subtle, producers. "How gnarly was that, dude?" Matty says, as the tribe returns from Tribal Council. Sugar giggles. Ken offers to talk to Matty about "what happened," while Sugar apologizes to Matty for surprising him and then flexes her muscles, feeling very empowered. Matty tells us that Ace was the victim of a "textbook blindside" and he's glad that he kept up his end of the bargain and never voted against Ace. He's also learned never to swear on his girlfriend again. Way to learn how to play the game, Matty. It only took you halfway through the thing to do it, too. Matty tells Sugar that Ace said he had her in his back pocket (again with Ace and pockets!), and Sugar says that's exactly why she wanted him gone. Ken tells Matty that Ace was "playing him." Sugar tells us that, in the end, she trusted Ken more than Ace, and decided to take Ace out before he got the chance to get rid of her.

Meanwhile, Matty decides to talk about the white elephant at the camp and says he knows that Crystal will be gunning for him now. Crystal says she's ready and willing to wipe the slate clean from here on out, and she and Sugar urge Matty not to let anyone else get in his head like Ace did (except, you know, themselves). Oh, Matty -- they think you're a moron! An easily-swayed moron! And they're right. Matty tells us that he's worried that Crystal is mad at him for voting for her, but since he promised he wouldn't vote for Ace, he didn't have any other options. Uh ... not true. First of all, he could have cast a throw-away vote for Sugar. Second of all, as he said when he voted for her, he was more than happy to vote for Crystal and couldn't wait to see her gone. Matty says that at this point, he's praying that the game will change somehow. The rest of Fang assumes that the merge is happening tomorrow, and can't wait to eat. The Fang Four agree to stay together and somehow make it to the Final Four, and it's now common knowledge that Sugar has the idol. Sugar tells the group not to tell anyone on Kota about this, and they all agree, since it's the only way they have any chance against Kota in the merge. Crystal tells us that "hopes are high" among the Fang tribe for what must be the first time this game, and she's hoping to "outwit, outlast, and outplay" Kota. Clearly she did not win the gold medal at memorization of TV show logos, since it's "outwit, outplay, outlast." Yet another thing that Crystal fails at. "You guys are all Survivors," Matty says. "Welcome to the game," Sugar says. She giggles, but I sense some hostility there.

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Survivor

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