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Sara M: A- | Grade It Now!
Suddenly Susie

So, Marcus and Randy tie the idol around a large bottle and prepare to toss it into the ocean. Randy takes one more opportunity to tell us that "with all due respect to President Bongo, I am the new King of Gabon," and I really thought he was being racist until I looked it up and the president of Gabon's last name is, in fact, "Bongo." The Wikipedia entry went on to accuse him of all sorts of corruption and I wonder how much CBS had to pay him off to film Survivor there. Way to contribute to the problem, CBS. "I'm sorry, but I rule," Randy adds. I want that on a bumper sticker. Or as a ringtone. Randy offers the idol up one last time. There are no takers, so Marcus warms up his idol-throwing arm as they wade out to sea. I noticed that Randy is carrying two identical bottles -- one with the idol tied around it, and the other that Randy is drinking from. Randy hands Marcus a bottle and he throws it out into the ocean. I totally thought they had done something amazing and somehow switched the bottles so that Marcus threw Randy's bottle and they kept the bottle with the idol on it and everyone on the beach was none-the-wiser, but no. Marcus tells us that his opponents are "so stupid" because he got ten people to throw immunity away. Hey, Marcus? You're one of those ten. Don't be too confident. Sugar tells us that she was surprised to see the others choose to throw immunity away, and is happy that she has her own idol. And somehow, someway, Sugar has become the smartest person in this game.

And with that, the feast is over and the box can be opened. Um ... where are the naked people swimming that we were promised in last week's previews? King Randy and Marcus the Magnificent do the honors. They find a small pouch with ten numbered stones in it and orders for everyone to take a stone. Matty looks confused, while Sugar seems to have already caught on that things are not what they seem. Once the stones have been picked, Randy reads the second clue, which informs the contestants that they are now on two new tribes -- not one merged one. Charlie's jaw hangs open. Susie doesn't appear to care one way or the other. Charlie tells us that he assumed there would be ten new buffs in the box, and never even suspected a twist like this. Which is why you shouldn't throw away an immunity idol before you know what's going on. No one looks thrilled about this, not even King Randy, who tells us that the new Kota consists of Bob, Marcus, Susie, Crystal, and Ken, while he, Corinne, Charlie, Matty, and Sugar are the new Fang tribe. I'm glad Bob got to stay on Kota -- can you imagine how upset he would have been if he had to give up that herb garden?

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