The Best And Worst Reward Ever

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 1 USERS: A
I Double-Dog Boot You

Ian dives. James dives. For whatever reason, James immediately spots and retrieves a bottle, while Ian has the Ibrehem problem and doesn't even seem to see the bottles at all. He comes to the top, and the team reminds him that he's looking for a white bottle. James returns, and who goes out next? Yes, it's ass-kicking Steph. She and Ian are down at the same time, and Ian finally gets a bottle just as she gets one too. Again, Steph is certainly making an admirable effort to drag her sorry-ass team back into things. As soon as she and Ian return to the platforms with their bottles, they both head right back out again, because with all the team members having gone, they can send whomever they'd like. Ian dives. Steph dives. Ian comes up with the sixth bottle for Koror, and they haul him back. Steph comes up with the final bottle for Ulong, but they can't get her back quite fast enough. Can't say she didn't try, that's for sure. Ian hits the platform, and Koror wins reward. Angie is despondent. Jeff reminds them that first, Koror will go tonight and vote someone out. Then, they'll sit in the jury area and eat as Ulong votes someone out. Angie cries all over her...whatever, dragonflies and hula girls and whatnot. A depressed Ulong and a happy Koror go home. Again.

We return to Koror's beach, where the jubilant tribe is just getting home. Ian says that it was a challenge they needed (I can't imagine why, to be honest), and that "unfortunately," they still have to boot someone this evening. He expresses some sympathy for Ulong, which is being "decimated" (which...Ulong only wishes, actually), and that after this evening, there will be four Ulongians and eight Kororians remaining. It is indeed a pretty bad spanking that was delivered in this game, that's for sure. You know, I think conventional wisdom has always been that Burnett wouldn't let a team be demolished like this...goes to show you what we all know.

As Koror talks about what a lucky break Ibrehem's bad showing was, Ian interviews that he looks forward to watching Ulong do the voting thing and find out what the dynamics are. I'm telling you, I don't think it really matters, when you're looking at a tribe that's so damn small. It's not like anyone has to figure out how to foil four people. Oh, and Ian also tells us that, as to the eating part, he looks forward to "a party in [his] mouth," which tells me one thing: Ian watches Iron Chef. And that is awesome. As the team sits around and talks, Coby tells them all that they should try to be nice and sensitive about eating in front of hungry, hungry Ulong. They all make like they agree, but it's hard to actually do that. Besides, I think witnessing the eating itself is going to be the biggest issue for Ulong. I mean, I agree that not being any more asshole-ish than necessary is always a nice touch, though. Ian then sings a little song about how happy he is not to have to go fishing or hunting for clams or whatever. I don't normally support random singing, but he's still pretty darn cute.

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