Survivor
The Best And Worst Reward Ever

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 1 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
I Double-Dog Boot You

At Koror, much of the team -- sans Willard -- chats out in the water about booting him. They refer to him as "a thinker dude," among other things. Yes, a "thinker dude." The most dangerous kind. Tom espouses a truly strange theory that if they keep Willard around, he'll start winning immunities when it's "all puzzles," and he'll wind up in the final two. I think that is highly unlikely, as it is very unlikely to be all puzzles, and a physically weak player with no allies is not a likely F2 prospect, and I'm not sure Willard is rocking any endurance challenges, but...whatever. As to Willard possibly making F2, Tom remarks, "I can't live with that." They agree that they need to keep the tribe strong going into the merge. Willard interviews that he's known all along that he'd likely be voted out first, so here we are, and it looks like he'll probably go. Ho-hum. It's easy with the ones who decide not to put up much of a fight. Willard insists that trying to change the outcome would be like "trying to fight gravity," and somewhere, many physicists are like, "Okay, it's not really exactly like that."

Willard goes out and talks to Coby about figuring he's probably going, and about whether Coby could fit into his shorts -- presumably wondering if he should leave them behind. Coby doesn't even try to deny it, because this is Willard's "goodbye, cruel world" moment, and it would be wrong to deny it to him. Willard tells Coby that he had his good and bad moments, and had fun, and seasons in the sun, and so forth. Coby complains to Willard that it's sad that Willard is going before Katie, who's "so worthless." Worthless people are such a draaaag. Willard says that the game is about personalities, and that he has "almost no ability to schmooze." Right. In other words, people who get along with each other are phonies, which is one of my favorite philosophies. It's basically the old-man version of the ever-annoying "I'm just keepin' it real!" defense that's been chapping me for many seasons of many shows.

Coby interviews that tonight will indeed see the booting of Willard. And again, he says that there's nothing he can do to change that, given that he doesn't "have the numbers." He says that at this point, attempts to change the outcome would only make things worse for Coby himself. "It's a popularity contest," he reasons. "If I act like a bitch, nobody's going to like me. I'm not going to stick around." Coby and Willard share another warm moment in which Willard refers to himself as a "curmudgeon." Yep. He is most definitely keeping it real. Coby returns in his interview to the topic of how much he doesn't like Katie. "She doesn't do anything, and she's stiiiiill here," he whines nasally. Yeah, she's not like Coby, who...does a lot, I'm sure, not that we've ever seen very much of it. He claims that he will be very upset if Katie gets farther in the game than he does, which is the kind of comment that always makes me instantly hope that she gets farther in the game than he does. Especially since he promises to "puke, puke, puke."

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Survivor

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