Episode Report Card
Sara M: C | 2 USERS: A-
Way to Go, Exile Alliance

While Douche shakes his head, Probst congratulates the black team on their win and asks who they want to send to Exile. They go for Stephen, and Douche can't help but say: "be the wizard, Stephen. Be the wizard." If someone told me to be the wizard, I'd punch him in the face on principle. But perhaps Douche is mixing up fact and fiction again and thinks Stephen is Harry Potter. While everyone else makes "huh?" faces, Stephen laughs, thinking that Douche is joking. But he isn't. Stephen leaves, and Probst sends everyone back to camp, telling the black team they'll enjoy their reward tomorrow. While everyone else leaves their team red, black, or white bandanas behind, Douche is loving his red bandana so much that he's tied it around his arm, not unlike a Nazi armband, and has to be told to take it off by Probst. Douche takes this as an opportunity to talk, saying he's pissed off at missing his chance to kayak. Because everyone else doesn't mind missing out on fun and food at all. Just Douche. Tyson interviews that he's sure Brendan will try to scheme when he's alone on the reward with Debbie and J.T., but he's confident enough that his alliance will remain loyal to assholes. His only worry is that the extra food will help Brendan win the next immunity challenge.

Let's check in on Stephen at Exile. There's no change in the idol, so he has nothing to keep him occupied except actual survival. He says he's very worried about his chances out there alone, since he hasn't yet been able to make fire. He tried a few times at camp, but failed and was too embarrassed to try again. The fact that Syndey stepped up and made a fire immediately after his failure probably didn't help matters. Stephen says that by "forcing" himself to come to Exile, he figures he'll either make fire or die. Except that he didn't force himself at all. He was selected. And I'm pretty sure the Survivor medic team would airlift him out before he died. And that he can't die after just two days without food or fire anyway. Please drop out of the Douche School of Exaggerating, Stephen. After about an hour, Stephen finally gets a flame! He's pretty jazzed about it and compares it to giving birth to his first child. Not giving birth to the second child, as by then it's totally played out. In a chopped-to-bits sound byte, he says it was okay that he missed out on the reward since making his own fire at Exile was a reward in and of itself.

The next day, the black team goes white water rafting. It looks like a lot of fun, especially since no one manages to piss off any indigenous people and get beaten with a club. J.T. says he felt "just like a little kid." When doesn't he? Brendan, on the other hand, has fallen in love with J.T. and interviews that watching him enjoying himself on the challenge was the best part. He calls J.T. a "great soul" and says he's really sincere, and this is kind of how people describe people they think are simple. I wonder how much of this love for J.T. comes the fact that his Southern drawl makes people think he's stupid and friendly. Then there's the picnic, and sure enough, there are brownies. Huge brownies with big white chunks in them that I hope are nuts. J.T. interviews that he thought Brendan wouldn't be much fun to go on a trip with, but he was wrong and had a great time.

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