Survivor

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Nobag Is Gabon Spelled Stupid

And who is going to Exile? Corinne wants to send Bob. Probst asks why, and Corinne says she wants him to find the hidden idol. Way to make your alliances obvious, Corinne. Meanwhile, I'm sure Sugar and Matty were more than happy to go along with the rest of their tribe's decision to send Bob since they know there's nothing out there for Bob to find, and Sugar's probably a little annoyed that Corinne apparently hasn't even entertained the thought that she could have found it during one of her 1,000 trips to Exile. We get a shot of Sugar looking pretty satisfied with herself, and then she reminds us that Bob isn't going to find that idol, since she already has it. Probst sends the tribes away, and Matty says that was the tensest challenge he's experienced thus far. "I felt like I was gonna have like four heart attacks," he says. And yet, he stayed remarkably chill for the most part. I admire that. I want to be more like Matty. Especially since I have terrible feeling that I would have acted more like Randy. As for Randy, he tells us that he doesn't know "what got into" Matty, but "what he pulled was ugly." Scratch that -- I wouldn't have acted like Randy. I know I have at least a modicum of self-awareness.

After the commercial, the Fang tribe members make their way into the Gabonese village, where they are welcomed by the natives wearing their ceremonial bright red lycra tank tops. I wonder: if Kota had won, they'd be wearing yellow instead? Matty says that he's the only person who's been trapped on the Fang tribe for this entire game, so it felt especially good to finally win a reward. The Fangs take a seat and are hit with wet leaves. Or as Corinne says, "all we're thinking is food. But instead, they start beating us with leaves that are covered in water and like stripping our clothes off of us." Yeah, probably because you guys freaking stink and it's offensive to everyone else. Either that, or (I hope) those leaves are poison ivy. P.S. I feel really sorry for whoever got stuck washing Randy. We then see Corinne sitting on a log wearing a funky new dress. Once the Fangians aren't offensively smelly and dirty, they're lead to another part of the village, and Corinne makes a new friend: a small child who obviously has bad taste in friends. Even Corinne has to admit that she's the last person anyone would expect to pal around with a two-year-old. Wrong! That would be Randy. Even when Randy was himself two years old, he hated two-year-olds.

There's a feast laid out for the Fangians, and now it's time for Matty to pull a Corinne and talk too much. "I was stoked when I saw Marcus gone," he says. He twists that to say he was happy because it gave them a better chance to win this reward, but Corinne is not amused. Charlie says Ace, Dan, and Marcus -- three "power players" -- just exited the game one after another. Okay ... how was Ace or Dan a power player? Or Marcus, really? A real power player would still be in this game. And now it's time for Charlie's reaction to Marcus's departure, and I can't wait. He says seeing Marcus gone was the lowest moment for him since the game started, as he and Marcus have been "playing together" both as alliance mates and "really good friends" from the beginning. Friends, really? More like a straight guy using a gay guy's obvious crush on him to further his position in the game. There's a difference. "And now with him gone, it's like, ugh, who do we turn to?" Charlie wonders. How about your own damn self for a change? "He really did a lot of thinking for us," Charlie concludes. Well, he's gone now, so that's the kind of thinking that you don't need.

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Survivor

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