Survivor

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Sara M: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Nobag Is Gabon Spelled Stupid

Fang is back at camp, and Matty does his now-standard treemail scream that scares a really cool black-and-blue-striped bird out of a tree. The clue says they'll have to "be the best fire-starter" to win the next Immunity Challenge. Charlie says that sounds like another individual challenge, which worries Sugar since it means she won't be able to stand around doing nothing again. "Shush up!" Matty says, such a librarian this week with the shushing. Matty says Ken, Crystal, and Susie can't start fires, and Randy adds that Crystal couldn't start a fire if you gave her gasoline and matches. True, though. Crystal supposedly won an Olympic gold medal for running and she can't even do that. She didn't win any medals for fire starting. Randy tells us that that he doesn't know if this will be a team challenge or individual, or when the merge will happen, but when he does see Crystal again, he'll puke. What? Why Crystal specifically? What's his problem with her? Randy calls Crystal "Sasquatch" in front of the tribe, and Charlie asks for clarification as to who he's referring to. "Sasquatch is Bigfoot, which is Crystal. Which is also T. Rex," Randy says, and there is much giggling coming from Corinne. Meanwhile, how did Charlie not know who Randy was talking about? Was he trying to shame Randy into not criticizing Crystal in front of her ex-tribe and current alliance mates by calling him out, only for it to backfire due to Randy's obliviousness? Randy tells us that he's hated Crystal since the beginning of the game. "I still hold a major grudge," he says. What, Randy has a hard time letting go of slights against him, be they real or imagined? Shocker.

The tribes arrive, with Fang decked out in their new clothes just to rub it in. Like Randy really needs to wear his new sheet thing as a headdress? No! He's doing it in the hopes that it'll make Crystal cry. Probst takes the immunity idol back and puts it away to introduce the new individual immunity necklace. Guess what? It's time for the merge! Everyone is happy to drop their buffs, most especially Bob. Matty and Ken embrace, and Ken whispers "I've missed you so much." Wow. With all the attention Marcus and Charlie got, we all missed the Matty/Ken connection. Probst throws the buffs to Matty, the only remaining jock man capable of catching things, and Ken tries to assert his dominance with an interception but Matty gets the bag and passes them out. Everyone does the new buff sniff test and Bob gets his new blue buff bowtie on. Blue? I thought they'd be orange. Because red and yellow make orange, right? But I guess this year it's all about primary colors.

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Survivor

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