The Brave May Not Live Long, But The Cautious Don't Live At All

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
Termites Of Endearment

Yaxha. Still pesky old Day 7. Brianna pounds some corn and explains in an interview that she's doing her part around camp: "I want to be considered an asset on this tribe." She is certainly a corn-pounding asset. The tribe then eats some of this non-delicious corn mush, Steph explaining that it's "similar to oatmeal, but not as good." Not a particularly promising description, considering that wallpaper paste is also similar to oatmeal, but not as good. She adds that it's also a little on the al dente side, describing it ultimately as "sort of crunchy, like a crunchy, soft-ish, stuck-in-your-teeth kind of meal." Yeah, that doesn't sound overwhelmingly positive. Rafe tells us that the team has just been eating corn and corn and corn, and that they desperately need "something else." In fact, he says that throwing dirt in the corn makes it more interesting. I don't know about them, but I suggest a rousing game of Whose Spit Is In Here?

Speaking of their willingness to eat anything different, the team finds a tree infested with termites. And despite this only being Day 7 and there being a supply of perfectly good corn, Rafe takes a shot at eating them. Steph is horrified. "I'm not going to be your friend anymore, Rafe," she says, and he laughs. Steph announces to Gary that she's not going to be his friend anymore if he keeps eating the termites. I didn't take those comments particularly seriously, I have to say -- I don't think she was actually threatening not to be friends with them anymore. I think she was teasing them about how gross she thought it was, and she pulled the same line out on Gary because it made Rafe laugh. It's certainly not the most objectionable Steph's going to get this week, so maybe I'm just saving my energy. Rafe expresses the view that the termites are tastier than the ants they ate before. Stephenie does make one of the points I might make if similarly situated, which is that it would at least be less gross if they cooked the termites, rather than just scooping them alive right off the tree. Rafe defends the protein content of the termites. At some point, I do believe that argument would stop working on me. Like, people would try to get you to eat your own hair by telling you it contained high amounts of protein. It's like "high in protein" is to food what "has a good personality" is to blind dates. ["Not to defend bug-eating, because...why would I, but it is true that the more protein you eat in a meal, the more full you feel, so maybe that's Rafe's thinking?" -- Wing Chun] Steph actually tries to give Gary a game smile, asking whether the termites are good. "Protein," Gary says back. It's a mantra, basically.

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