Survivor

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The Cult Of Rob

Natalie meets with Rob in the woods and tells him about Ralph's conversation with Ashley, saying that he promised Ashley he'd vote for her at the end instead of Rob and that when Natalie asked Ashley if she was going to tell Rob about this, Ashley said he "doesn't need to know." Rob thanks Natalie for telling him this, and Natalie may have just totally played Rob, saying all the right things to activate his paranoia and putting her firmly above Ashley in his mind. Rob interviews that Ralph won't have a chance to vote for Ashley at the end because he's going to make sure she isn't sitting there, which is her punishment for not being honest with Rob. "You have to tell me everything. It's my game. I'm in charge," Rob says, starting to sound a lot like Li'l Russell.

And just like that, ten minutes into the episode, we're at an immunity challenge. Which means that either the immunity challenge lasts like a half hour, there's a lot of post-challenge scheming ahead, or they crammed two boring episodes into one. Probst begins by noting Phillip's new feather, which is sticking out of the front of his headband. "Did you have a collision with a hawk?" he asks. You know, Douche used to wear feathers in his hair all the time. I'll bet he's sitting at home right now watching this and plotting to kill Phillip for ripping off his act. Phillip treats Probst's question like a serious one and says he did not run into a hawk. Instead, he meditated and asked for a sign and then the feather appeared out of thin air. "Literally out of thin air?" Probst asks, enjoying this very much. Phillip says that yes, it was out of thin air. Shame on the Survivor camera crew for not catching that amazing moment, then. Probst says it sounds like things will work out well for Phillip today. Phillip says it won't just be good for him, but for his entire alliance, "the former Otempo -- Otempay tribe." His tribe is not called either of those names, but no one bothers to correct him. Ralph only wishes he could misspell names like Phillip mispronounces them.

Probst explains the challenge. There are three stages. First, all contestants dig to find a club they will use to break a tile. The first six to do that get to stick their heads in a tub of water and suck up as much water as they can, then crawl under the tub and spit the water out into a tube. The first three people to fill the tube past a line move on to the third and final around, another one of those tricky-looking block puzzles. The first person to solve it wins immunity. The challenge begins. Rob and Grant are the first to get their clubs, smashing the tiles one after the other and sending tile shards all over Probst, who clearly loves it. Ralph and Mike are the next two to finish. David gets fifth place, and Julie gets her club but decides to delay her win slightly by walking over to the other side of the tile to smash it for some reason. Was she trying to hit all the losing contestants with tile shards? Weird.

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Survivor

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