Survivor

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The Cult Of Rob

Rob pretends that who to vote out tonight is a group decision by asking his allies who they want to vote for. Phillip suggests Ralph, because he's ridiculous. Rob suggests David, because he is a mental threat even though he sucks at puzzles. But he also wants to send someone to Redemption Island who will beat Matt. With seemingly nothing decided, Rob grabs Grant's hand and reminds them all that the buddy system is still in play. Ashley whines that she has to go to the bathroom. "Go with a buddy," Rob says.

The tribe arrives at Tribal, with Phillip still wearing his magic hawk feather. Probst, of course, asks him about it, saying that it apparently worked its magic and gave Phillip's tribe good luck. Except that Phillip didn't even make it past the first round. It doesn't take much to set Phillip off, though, so he says that his great-great grandfather was a full-blooded Cherokee and he popped up in Phillip's meditation and told him that someone from Onomatopoeia would win today and that everyone from his tribe would "live long in Survivor lore." Too bad Phillip's great-great grandfather couldn't tell him the correct way to pronounce his tribe's name. Also, Natalie is not living long in Survivor lore. Even if she wins this thing, we will forget about her in like ten minutes. And finally, how did Phillip know that was his great-great grandfather anyway? I have no idea what my great-great grandfather looked like, so if he wandered into a dream or something I would think he was some kind of weirdo dream invader pervert and yell at him to leave.

Probst turns to Mike and points out the obvious: with six Onomatopoeia members to Zapato's five, he's kind of screwed. Mike agrees that he is. He doesn't have much more to say about it than that, so Probst asks Julie if she knows who is on the bottom of Onomatopoeia's totem pole and thus most likely to flip. Julie says the bottom person is "obvious" to her and her tribe, even though he seems to be totally oblivious. That person, of course, is Phillip. "I enjoy being on the bottom," Phillip responds as David giggles. "It's a nice place to be. You can look up and see what's going on." He reminds us that he has like 15 siblings and he was on the bottom of that family, too, so he's used to it. He puts his arms around Rob and Grant's shoulders and says they are his "new family." "Matt thought you guys were his family too," Julie says. And that would be a great point to make, if only she wasn't trying to make it to people who are stupid/crazy/brainwashed.

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Survivor

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