Survivor
Survivor

Episode Report Card
Joanna: B+ | 497 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
A Bug in the System

Someone is clearly working on their cinematographic skills, as we see shots of various day-glo and hairy spiders crawling around. The tribe is sleeping, and suddenly HeiDDi snaps to attention as a particularly hairy spider is making a dash for some underbrush. We see a shot of HeiDDi's bulbous knee as she voice-overs that she feels "retarded" because she got bit by a spider. Meanwhile, the spider feels like a genius because he bit the nastiest member of the tribe. Jenna "oh wow[s]!" as HeiDDi whines that the injury is getting worse, and she can't even bend her knee any more. We see more shots of the knee-breast as HeiDDi voice-overs that it started off sore before turning black and blue, and now she can't even touch it without feeling extreme pain. Jenna gropes HeiDDi's knee-breast, thigh, and crotch before proclaiming that the "whole area" is hot. Alex offers to carry HeiDDi to "put [her] down over there," and she feebly insists that she'll walk. Moments later, we see him scooping her up. In a confessional, Rob Base(ment) explains that HeiDDi has been bitten by an insect. He then vocalizes what everyone else has been thinking: "It has now reached the size of one of her breasts on her knee." He concludes that it's difficult for her to walk, adding, "Hopefully she'll have it trained," but again, I don't know what that means. HeiDDi giggles, stares at her knee-breast, and snits, "Stupid bug."

The tribe checks treemail in the morning, and Alex fervently reads the clue: "What do you crave more -- immunity or food? The thought of going home tonight, might put your palate in the mood." Jenna asks in a quick flurry, "What's that mean? That I don't understand. Oh, wait. No. I don't know. I'm confused. Maybe I'm just an idiot." Deena, who is flossing her teeth -- they get floss? -- yells that she plans on eating, before telling us in a confessional that their plan has always been "Matt first, Matt first, Matt first, Matt first." They've recently decided that if Matthew wins immunity, "Alex must go. He's gone. Period. End of statement." Back at camp, Jenna is ready to leave for the challenge and asks if anyone feels like canoeing.

Alex piggybacks HeiDDi into the challenge, causing Peachy to dryly point out, "You've got a wrapped knee." Peachy snidely asks what happened. He so hates her too. HeiDDi spastically guffaws, "Would you believe a spider? Stupid spider!" Peachy points out that she's in trouble if it's a physical challenge, and HeiDDi just giggles in response.

Peachy announces that they've now been in the Amazon for twenty-seven days; he thinks the most common thoughts in their heads during this time have been of food. Jenna says, "I'll be the first to say it!" as if there's some shame in admitting to hunger. He announces that they'll be getting food today, as a "nice Amazonian menu" has been prepared for them. The kicker? The meal will consist of all "Amazonian delicacies," which Peachy speculates they've seen around their camp and could be vital in a real survival situation. The challenge will consist of four courses, and the last two to finish in each round will be eliminated until two remain in the finals. Peachy reclaims the idol from Jenna, and proclaims immunity back up for grabs. The tribe draws numbers to determine their places at the table, and I don't know why that matters, but fair is fair. Peachy finishes up with, "Hope you brought an appetite!"

Survivor

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