The Chain

Episode Report Card
Joanna: B | Grade It Now!
A Bug in the System

Back at Jackée, Rob Base(ment) regales the rest of the tribe members with tales of his puppetry. He mocks that when he tells Matt what to do, Matt immediately goes and tells Butch, laughingly saying, "Butch is like [Matthew's] operative." He imitates Matt with, "I told Butch. I said, 'Butch, you're on a need-to-know basis." The tribe collectively snickers, sounding remarkably like Beavis and Butthead. Or in HeiDDi's case, Breasthead. In a confessional, Rob Base(ment) tells us that the tribe wants to vote Matthew off because "we think he's mentally unstable, and we're afraid that he may kill us." He explains that at this point, they're just trying to keep Matthew from knowing he's next in line. As we rejoin the group, Jenna earnestly urges, "We need to be cautious that he does not feel threatened…or he does not feel like he needs to kill any of us." Hee. Rob Base(ment) asks, "Is Matthew a physical threat? Yeah. To my safety!" Snicker, snicker, snicker.

On a treemail check with Rob Base(ment), Christy and Deena enthusiastically "Oh, no!" over the sight of a dartboard. Rob Base(ment) reads the clue aloud: "Practice, practice, practice. Don't compete in haste. Smell the aroma of victory. Get Brazil's most famous taste." Rob Base(ment) speculates that it might be coffee, as opposed to the other obvious possibility: cocaine. Deena agrees with him because of the "aroma" part, and I think they've all been watching too many Taster's Choice commercials. Rob Base(ment) thinks Matthew will win, while Deena thinks it will be Alex. Meanwhile, Christy is in the background, muttering the clue to herself. As the three head back to camp bearing the dartboard and weapons, Rob Base(ment) announces, "I don't know how good of an idea this is -- to give us a bow and arrow." Aside from the fact that Matthew's a likely serial killer, sharp objects put HeiDDi in serious danger of deflating.

HeiDDi lollingly stares as Deena announces that they have bows and arrows, to which an unidentifiable male member responds, "Nice little orgasm." Just don't ask me what that means. In a confessional, Matthew tells us that each member of the tribe tried the various weapons, taking shots with the arrows, throws with the spears, and blowing a couple darts. This is accompanied by shots of each of them testing the weapons, including a big whiff by Rob Base(ment) and a raised eyebrow from Alex. A raised eyebrow from Alex, incidentally, is the equivalent of emailing in all caps. Surprisingly, they all look fairly decent at the weapon-wielding except for HeiDDi, who would have a chance at winning this challenge, but only if it tested their abilities to throw things sideways and into bushes. Rob Base(ment) tells us in a confessional that the only spears he knew coming into the game were "Britney and broccoli and asparagus." We then see HeiDDi fiddling with the blowdart, asking Rob Base(ment), "Do I need to, like, totally put my mouth around it?" Rob, who has fantasized his entire life about a woman saying that to him, gleefully responds, "Yeah, I think so." Meanwhile, Matthew continues to take successful shot after successful shot, and Rob Base(ment) tells him he's likely to win. Matthew doesn't think it's got to go down like that, and asks Rob Base(ment) what he thinks. Rob Base(ment) responds that if he were in Matt's situation, he'd be thinking the same way. This conversation doesn't make much sense until Rob Base(ment) explains in a confessional that Matthew approached him, claiming that he wouldn't try his hardest because he didn't want people to think of him as a physical threat, to which Rob Base(ment) responded, "Matt! I think you're finally starting to understand this game!" We rejoin their conversation as Matt proudly exclaims, "Dude! I'm learning, man!" Rob Base(ment) jabs himself with the pitchfork-like spear, and Matt is very concerned for his safety. After all, it's no fun if your victims accidentally kill themselves before you get to them!

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