Survivor

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Average Joe

Sierra and Brendan eat while Taj and Stephen sit in the shelter. Once again, they have every opportunity to talk about the alliance, and once again, they don't. Instead, Stephen asks Taj if she'd be willing to vote Brendan out tonight. Without giving anything away, he says he thinks he can convince some members of Tempura to vote for Brendan, noting that J.T. and Douche have become very close lately. Taj says if Stephen can pull it off, she'll vote however he wants her to. She's given Brendan and Sierra two days to talk to her about the alliance and they haven't said a thing, so she doesn't feel very secure in their alliance anymore at all. She'd rather see Brendan go than someone from Jalapeño. With that, Tyson pokes his head in the shelter and comments on how white Taj's teeth are. It turns out that Tyson and Taj both bleach their teeth. EXCITEMENT!

Douche and J.T. talk again. J.T. says Douche can trust him. Douche says that when J.T. and Stephen walked away, the Tempurans decided to vote J.T. out. He does not say that Tyson basically spearheaded that vote, but whatever. It won't happen, Douche says, because J.T. and Douche are fellow warriors. Douche then tells J.T. not to screw him over because he's screwing over his whole tribe with this move. Except that he isn't, since it's pretty freaking obvious at this point that Joe isn't coming back and there won't be a Tribal Council. If there was, we wouldn't be seeing all of this one-sided pre-Tribal plotting.

J.T. goes to Stephen and tells him that Sierra and Brendan are voting for him tonight, according to Douche. Stephen is shocked, then realizes that if Brendan thinks J.T. is going home, he won't play his idol. But if he does play it, J.T. will be going home instead. So they'll just have to think up some kind of back-up plan. Stephen interviews that the plan now is for four or five people to vote for Brendan and the rest to vote for Sierra. So if Brendan does play the idol, Sierra will go home and not J.T. Stephen tells Tyson the plan and Tyson agrees. He goes to tell Douche. Douche also agrees, then interviews that if all goes according to his plan at Tribal Council tonight, the old Tempura's foundations will be shaken. Except that it totally wasn't his plan at all, but I'm sure in Douche's mind, it was. He thought of it while he was hunting for dragons and everyone was talking about how great he is.

Douche returns to camp and complains that the fish weren't biting and he doesn't have the patience to "sit around holding a rod in my hand without anything working," although I have a feeling that happens to him a lot. Douche is so pleased with his double entendre that he makes sure to check in with Debbie that it didn't go over her head. Douche then interviews about how awesome he is for "orchestrating" the big move at Tribal tonight. Not only will he be able to vote out weak people and keep the strong, but he'll also vote out one of the strongest and most manipulative people in the game. Douche is now not even waiting for the next sentence to contradict himself. Amazing. Douche calls himself The Dragon Slayer, although I'm not sure if aligning with members of a minority tribe is cutting the head off a dragon or cutting your nose off to spite your face. "I feel BRILLIANT!" he cries. Cut to lightning crashing. LOL.

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Survivor

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