Survivor

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Average Joe

Beans are cooked, and Douche's meditation ritual means that he doesn't burn them into cinders and then get mad at the tribe for getting mad at him. Brendan can't help but laugh at Douche, saying he's like a totally different person these days. "Life is good," Douche says, as Debbie feeds him something. Ugh. Brendan interviews that he's always had a good relationship with Douche despite Douche's tendency to do asshole things around camp and to claim to be the originator of the Samurai topknot. "They've been doing it for like thousands of years in Japan and Johnny Depp's been doing it for like twenty years here. You didn't start anything," Brendan says behind Douche's back. But not to his face, which is disappointing.

Back at Jalapeño, Joe's leg wound did not heal in one day as he predicted. In fact, today it's worse than ever, hot to the touch and swollen. Joe still claims that it's healing, but the rest of the tribe doesn't look very hopeful. Taj wonders how this happened, and Joe says "a little bug" must have gotten into it. This terrifies Taj, who thinks he's talking about an actual insect. Joe clarifies that he meant bacteria. Okay, so Taj looked kind of dumb there. No one said the S in SWV stood for "science." Taj interviews that Joe's leg wound is a source of concern for her, now that his ability to convince others to vote her out has been neutralized. She says he keeps saying it's getting better, but it doesn't look like it to her. Let's hammer in Joe's doom with a shot of a vulture.

Joe limps over to the fire pit. J.T. interviews that Joe has a "bunged-up leg" and is therefore "down 'n out." Then he talks about what he really cares about, which is the Jalapeño minority going into a merge, which will only get smaller if Joe's leg forces him out of the game.

There's treemail at Tempura. Brendan hands the string around the mail to Douche, who's been using them as his hair ties, as is the Samurai code. The clue says something about spinning and a feast for the winner, and the tribe wonders what that could mean. Over at Jalapeño, they're doing the same thing. Except for Taj, who reads that there's a "feast" and celebrates before reading the next line that it goes to the winner, which doesn't sound like an automatic merge feast. No one said the V in SWV stood for "very literate." You can actually see the figurative wind be taken out of Taj's sails. She interviews that she wants the feast and "I get excited when I hear anything that starts with an F." Well, famine starts with an F too, Taj. Stephen decides that there's a merge coming, while everyone else seems to think it's another challenge. J.T. interviews that he's ready to win it, because he is a sore loser. And he's hoping it is a challenge because he doesn't think he's ready for a merge.

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Survivor

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