Survivor
The Final Four (Australia)

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A Cowboy, a Clown, and Two Third Graders...

It's now Day 38. Elisabeth tells us that the real challenge is "living [there] day to day." She starts tugging at her hair, and yelps that it's falling out. In an interview, she says that the hair is coming out in clumps but she doesn't know "if [she] can get one right now." Ew. If I'd been losing clumps of hair, I probably wouldn't start pulling at remaining hair patches in the hopes of removing some more. Just a thought. Elisabeth says that the hair loss is from malnutrition. Pandora, dog #2, has that same problem, though, and she's very careful about her diet. A scale suddenly shows up at treemail with a clue reading that "the pounds melt away on the Survivor diet." Bozo the Keith thinks that the girls are going to love it. There's also a mirror, which Tina refuses to look at; Elisabeth grabs it up right away. Tina weighs 45 kilos (99 pounds). She weighed 115 when she got there. Elisabeth weighs 46 kilos (101 pounds). She weighed 113 when the game started. This is making me feel really fat. Keith weighs 65 kilos (143 pounds) -- he weighed 170 when they arrived. And finally Colby, who weighed 190 pounds 40 days ago, now weighs 165. Bozo the Keith celebrates that he's lost the most weight, and finally won something. Elisabeth feels like her "stomach is eating itself." Tina figures out that between the four of them they've lost 85 pounds; Elisabeth concludes that it's like losing "a third-grader." Or a pre-implant Tina.

Colby tells us that Bozo the Keith goes on "sabbatical walks," as we see Bozo the Keith stumbling about; an ominous gong clangs. Colby tells us that they haven't talked, but that he "get[s] the feeling" that Bozo the Keith thinks he needs to "win 'em all." Bozo the Keith then talks to the camera and says that if his legs hold up, he's going to sit at a place with a magnificent view. Back at camp, Elisabeth tells Colby that he's waited patiently for his car, but now Colby is excited for his "new ride" and hot meal. Tina and Elisabeth then walk up to him like the slightly overgrown third-graders they almost are. Tina sweetly says, "Colby, here's you [sic] some flowers." Colby kisses and hugs the girls, and then tells us in an interview that they surprised him with the flowers, which were a "car-warming gift in lieu of a house-warming gift, like when you get a new house." He thinks the girls are the real deal. Peachy suddenly appears; he's all hunched over. He asks if Colby is "ready to get out of Dodge," and tells him that his "chariot awaits." Peachy then tries to weasel his way into the cool crowd by saying, "We got enough grub; I'm gonna join you, if that's cool." Peachy drools as the girls hug Colby goodbye. No one knows where Bozo the Keith is, but they guess he's off somewhere trying to figure out how many kangaroos he can stuff in a small car. Elisabeth tells us, as Colby leaves, that she's sad not to have won a challenge -- she wanted the car. She's cranky because she misses Rodger and she wants Keith to come back from wherever he is so they can eat. Meanwhile, Keith is lying on a rock with his hat over his head. He doesn't fall off the rock, though. Keith tells us that he's thinking about his family and fiancé and that he sees the light at the end of the tunnel. He tells us that he can't do anything to change things at this point, and that he's just going to "glide in" and try to enjoy the last few days. And then he asks the cameraman to lean in and smell the flower pinned to his lapel, which squirts water all over the lens. Triumphant music plays.

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Survivor

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