The Final Four: No Regrets

Episode Report Card
Joanna: B- | Grade It Now!
Fallen Comrats

As Kimj walks back to her dwindling tribe, Lex Loser looks very alert, and Peachy says, "I'll go tally...the vote." This whole thing is really kind of silly -- Kimj should have had to make the decision to their faces. She continues looking straight ahead while Lex Loser consoles her; Ethan just looks uncomfortable. Brandon, by the way, is wearing a scarf. In Africa. In 100 degree weather. Throughout this Tribal Council, it's like Kimj's leg is the Immunity Idol and they both need to keep a hand on it at all times.

Peachy returns, the "decision is final," blah, blah. The fourteenth person voted out of the tribe is Lex Loser. All together now: whew-hoo! Lex Loser graciously hugs Kimj and whispers something to her that we don't hear but is most likely, "I know where you live." Kimj shoves Ethan into her armpit. She looks only slightly regretful; as she rubs her eyes, I don't see any tears. Peachy attempts to extinguish Lex Loser's torch, but it won't go out. Because fire is the devil's toy. As Ethan and Kimj hold hands, Peachy tells them that the power is now completely in the hands of the jury. The S2 have tonight and tomorrow to think of what they'll each say to convince the jury -- each member of which they had a hand in eliminating -- to reward him or her with the million dollars.

Lex Loser can honestly say he spent thirty-eight days in Kenya and played "straight and honest and true." He has no hard feelings toward Kimj and concludes, "You had to vote for somebody. It was a tough call." But as Ethan and Kimj walk away, they're already snarking over it. Kimj says that Lex Loser was really upset, but claims, "I did the right thing, I really did the right thing." Ethan says, "No regrets." None for him, anyway.

Back from commercial, it's already daybreak. Thank God we're spared the dramatics of their last night together. The screen just reads "Final Day" instead of Day 39. Ethan wakes up and greets Kimj with a slightly flirty "good morning" as he rolls over and puts on his glasses. She obsessively fluffs out her hair in response. Kimj thinks it's hard to believe that there are no more nights in Africa ahead, and Ethan says, "No, it's not." Kimj tells us that yesterday she was concerned about voting off one of her two tribemates, but today she just relishes being there on the last day with Ethan. They both think it's "huge" to still be in the game.

Ethan says in a confessional that it's a very good day; he feels relief, joy, and gratitude toward Kimj for picking him. Kimj tells Ethan that she "really couldn't be with a better person," and she's very excited about it. Kimj claims in a confessional that the decision was increasingly difficult to make, but Lex Loser thought he deserved it, and she's not sure Ethan felt so confident, so that made the decision easier for her. I'm not complaining about the end result, but that's the lamest reason ever! Ethan has his hands tucked into his pockets as he says he only won two challenges and people might think he got lucky. He got lucky? With the sunrise in the background, Kimj tells Ethan that you don't succeed on Survivor "just by being a nice guy," and that his acts in Africa are akin to his acts in real life. She philosophizes, "You are who you are." They agree that being who they are is what got them on the show in the first place, and into the final two.

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