The Final Four: No Regrets

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Joanna: B- | Grade It Now!
Fallen Comrats

As the S3 and Peachy head off together at daybreak, the bird that is the spirit of Kimj soars above again. Peachy tells them that they'll participate this morning in "a final rite of passage." An aerial shot shows a clumping of red in the middle of the land; a close-up reveals a group of Masai dressed in red. Peachy tells the S3 that this is a chance to think about what it took for them to get to Day 38. They will be participating in a Samburu ritual, so the S3 will "follow [the Masai's] lead," always working north with fires on the east and west and "never looking back." Lex Loser is completely crazy-eyed during Peachy's explanation. The ritual will begin with a blessing from the elders, who will "beckon the spirits with their sticks." By this he means the elders will have the sticks, not the spirits. Though that might be more interesting. The elders will ask the spirits to forgive the S3 for injustices they've committed, and Peachy wants the S3 to focus on -- in addition to their crimes -- what they think they'll need to do to get through the next three days. In the second part of the ritual, they will follow "a trail of staffs representing [their] fellow survivors." This is their chance to reflect on the impact the former survivors had on the lives of the S3 and vice versa. It's full daylight now, but Peachy is still leading the way with his torch. In the next part of the ritual, they'll "come upon" a group of Samburu tribe members who will lead them through a "ceremonial cleansing" representing new life. A mixture of goat fat and blood will be washed over their bodies and the S3 will be asked to celebrate their rebirths. Peachy claims, "This. Is. For you." He encourages them to "give [themselves] over to the experience." Kimj rolls her eyes and sticks her tongue out; I think the expression is meant to express excitement and not disdain.

The ritual begins. The elders wave their sticks and chant as Ethan, Lex Loser, and Kimj walk through their group. That part's over pretty quickly, so I guess the spirits just give up on hopeless causes.

Then, the S3 start on their journey, first passing Diane's staff. This is accompanied by a clip of Big Bird taking over the map when they first arrived in Africa. In a current voice-over, she talks about her age and how Survivor was the chance of a lifetime. She says she did something she really wanted to do, and that was all that mattered. A montage of the S3 mourning over the others' staffs, clips from the Outback, and voice-overs follows. Jessie's staff says Survivor is very hard and that she felt accomplished just by being there. Notice how all the losers say that? Carl talks about his "charmed and wonderful life." He says he likes crawling into bed at night. Linda's staff doesn't try to hug them, but we do see a clip of her bloody tongue as she embarrasses herself with further talk of Mother Africa. Silas carries a goat and tells us he planned on winning the whole thing. He lets Mark Burnett know he'd play again if he were asked. Lindsey manages to whine even in this short segment; she says she loves to compete, but would much rather do it "in a civilized environment" where she's not "battling manipulation and backstabbing." Then, Tom pulls the tick out of her butt. Clarence puts on makeup and talks about having led his tribe until the bean incident, which "threw [him] down to the bottom." He says he went from "like, the CEO of the company to the janitor." Ethan seems particularly emotional over Kelly's staff, which is strange in light of her later accusations. We see the clip of her white man's overbite, and she tells us that she can't help being herself; it was hard for her not to have friends "in different places," and that screwed her. She is proud to have made it past "the boulders and what not," and then she calls herself a "skinny girl" for the second time. Once, I can forgive. Brandon says he'll miss the challenges the most; he claims to have finished in second or third in all of them. He claims that after winning "the most physical one" with Frank, "Nobody will ever take me for granted again." Frank says Survivor was a challenge, but that the isolation was therapeutic. Kimp says the game was never about the money, as we see Tom pour water down her bikini top. Obviously, the game was about the experience of having a fat older man ogle her breasts. Teresa couldn't be as vocal in Africa as she was at home. Finally, Tom does his slow-motion arm flapping dance, wins a challenge, and skips with Lex Loser, causing Kimj to cry and act like she gives a damn.

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