The Final Four

Episode Report Card
Omar G: A | 1 USERS: A+

Lots of Survivor-inspired commercials. Ask me if I give a grilled rat's ass..

Later that day and back at camp, Kelly is gloating. She says she knew the only way she would get this far was with the immunity necklace as her constant accessory. Rich again explains how he knew he wasn't going to win. Kelly recounts it as a goofy thing for Rich to do, given his "noble" speech. Rich maintains that even if he's voted off, it was still a good idea to quit. You know, I liked it better when they did the immunity challenge (an active immunity challenge) and then didn't talk about it for five more hours. The fewer people on the island, the more chance for nothing to happen, I guess. Rudy is beating himself up for what he perceives to be a dumb move. Oh, come now, Rudy, it's not that bad. At least you weren't hallucinating and singing gospel songs. Rudy doesn't care what I say. He makes like the monk in The Name of the Rose and self-flagellates until he bleeds.

More whining from Kelly. She's worried about the vote, she's relieved to win the immunity. We've seen this same scene like five times already. But no, she goes on. "I'm so relieved," "I'm worried," blah, blah, blah boiled ratcakes.

Things liven up considerably as the final three go to the tribal council. The jury comes in, and we don't get to see much of them, but Jenna is still showing off what Playboy missed out on with her tight green shirt. Jeff helpfully points out that it all falls on Kelly because Rudy and Rich's votes cancel each other out and they can't vote for Kelly who has immunity. Colleen is shown frowning as the voting factors are explained. She now looks like one of the Culkin brothers. Jeff's body is possessed by aliens from the planet Too Much Exposition. "You're queen of the island," he says, after a much lengthier speech about relationships on the island, but what he really wishes is that he could be queen of the island, wearing a saucy sarong and receiving reproachful looks from Rudy. If only, Jeff...If only...

So after all that, Kelly votes. She hesitates, and then writes something down. She brings the voting urn back to Jeff, thereby saving him the only manual labor he would have expended for the day. Jeff opens up the urn. "The fourteenth person voted off the island is..." suspense. Intrigue. A pause that shoots out babies. "Rudy," Jeff finally says, turning over the paper. Rudy gets up. "I don't blame 'er," he says. "In this case Kelly has spoken," Jeff remarks, because a good host comes up with fantastic dialogue on the spot like that. You go, booooiiiiiiieeeee. Rudy finally gets to get away from his flaming torch as it is extinguished.

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