Rich starts his campaign with, "Well, Kells Bells." Brilliant. Personalize it, baby. Rich says he'd love to stay and it's been an interesting road: "We worked well together and I have a certain responsibility for pulling the Alliance together in the first place." He ends with, "Love you, Sue," and if that isn't sneaky-slimy, I don't know what is. Have you noticed that Rich got nicer and nicer the closer he got to the million dollars? Sue gives the voters a big "fuck you" by announcing that they can do whatever they wanna do. It's no "I Like Ike," but hey, it may work.
The vote is on (and with this tie, it may indeed be on 'till the break 'a dawn). Rudy votes for Sue again, "for the same reason." Rich and Sue hug and now I see how they get those snakes to curl around on the Blue Shield logo. Kelly gets up to vote. She hesitates, staring down at the blank piece of paper. She bobs her head. Blinks a couple of times. Her immunity necklace sits there, like a paean to wishy-washiness. She finally flicks her head and starts writing. We cut away.
Jeff gets the most exercise he's gotten this entire season by going back and forth to get the voting jug. After what seems like an eternity, (consulting producers back there, much?) he comes back. First vote. Sue. Second vote. Wait for it...wait for it...Probst turns over the paper. It says, "Sue." Sue gets up, saying she's ready to go. She laughs, not at all bitter, it seems, as Kelly looks around uncomfortably. Sue says, "You...!" and giggles. Kelly says, "Have a smoke and a coffee." Sue says, "I will." This is the bottom half of a wild mood swing. Be prepared. Sue gets her torch snuffed out as she laughs and smiles and waves goodbye. Oh man, what a good sport! I can't believe she's so cool with all this. I mean, I'd be all bitter and yell at Kelly, but I guess Sue just doesn't have it in her to be so petty and rude and sour about it all. Wow, maybe I've misjudged her. Maybe Sue's all right. You know what? I love Sue. There, I said it. I love Sue and her rubber voice box. Love, love, love. I love me some Sue.
Peachy says goodbye. Sue walks down the bridge. Kelly lowers her head in Ultimate Survivor Shame. Jeff says the last immunity challenge is tomorrow and he'll be waking them up. "I'll see you back at camp." Um, guys? That's your cue to leave. The three engage in slow-motion walking off. Sue gets her final words. She says she appreciates being able to talk to everybody for the last time. She says she's happy to have made it to the final four. The island, she says, was a lot easier than trucking. Wow, Sue is soooo cool. What an amazing amount of restraint and poise and self-control and...what's the word I'm looking for...? Grace. Yep, that's Sue to a tee. Sue, Sue, full of grace. She is the Jackie O. of the island. Let us bow our heads and remember Sue, because I'm sure this is the impression of Sue's personality that we will always remember when we look back on Survivor. Her graceful exit.