The Final Showdown

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
Not So Fast, Studly

Gitanos. Day 38. Terry goes to fetch the treemail, which tells them that a boat is coming, and they'll need to gather everyone's torches and then use them to burn down the skull on Exile Island. Oh, come on. Although, I guess that at least explains what the giant skull is for -- it's there to be burned in a dramatic ending to the March of Dead Survivors. The clue even refers to the Dead Survivors as "your fallen comrades." Dude. That is messed up. They're not "fallen." They're eating cheeseburgers.

We watch as the final three head out to Exile Island, and Terry voices over that the three of them who are left have spent the most time on Exile Island. They all start walking around and gathering torches, and we hear each "fallen comrade" get a snippet of remembrance from the F3, and then a chance to say a few words on their own behalf. Tina is only referred to by Aras as "the first one out," since none of these people even knew her. Tina tells us that she has no regrets, and that she doesn't want people to feel sorry for her. They say nothing about Melinda, but she says she learned she was tougher than she thought: "It's awful out here." Now, we will hear from and about Misty. Terry just says she was the first on Exile Island, so she apparently made quite an impression. We watch her eat a worm in slow-motion, as she tells us that she, too, learned a lot about herself. The fact that she can eat worms, for instance. She also says that she will never try to be anything other than herself! For she is Misty! Worm-eating, early-going nobody! Ruth Marie isn't discussed either, except for her own comments that she is humbled and blessed by being on TV. Next, Aras says that it was great to have "Bob-Dog" around. President Beefcake tells us that the show is debilitating, and as we watch him chop a fish with great energy, he tells us that he wanted to just "smack down a couple of fools and maybe take a shot at the million." Heh. I really wish he had stayed around longer.

We then move on to Very Pale Dan, whose exit Terry describes in such grave and serious terms that it is once again as if (rather than being eliminated by a vote from a game show) Dan was actually pressed back into service and fired directly into an asteroid. Dan says for himself that his biggest surprise was how much fun he had. So apparently, he was not fired into an asteroid, but voted off a reality show.

Nick. Terry, of course, has to refer to Nick as "one of the most mature, well- spoken, and well- mannered twenty-four-year-old kids I have ever met." Terry could not be more obsessed with the age of things if he studied tree rings for a living. Do you suppose he considers himself slightly less awesome than a forty-seven-year-old, but slightly more awesome than a forty-five-year-old? When was the last time you were this aware of anyone's age in this game, let alone everyone's? Nick tells us that it was a miserable time out there, but very rewarding.

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