Survivor

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"Don't Make Me Throw Up On Your Face"

The next day, it's just before Tribal Council and we see some extended footage of the last-minute scrambling to get rid of Erik. The women tell Dave Ball, who then calls Brett over. "They say everybody's on board with Erik," he calls out loudly while Erik wanders around close by. "SHHHH!" the women warn as Erik turns and looks at them. But then he walks away so Brett gets a chance to speak: "I'll be completely honest cause you're the people that I trust. I know that -- I honest -- I don't -- I think we should -- at least give it some time to discuss. No, I don't -- Jais -- we don't -- it's not necess -- we can get him out next time. Jaison, just, I don't want -- make sure we don't make a mistake." And that's why Brett doesn't get to talk on this show. Because he's obviously a babbling idiot. Erik walks by again at this point and everyone immediately goes quiet. How could he not have been suspicious? Brett interviews that he doesn't understand why his alliance suddenly wants to vote out one of its own. John tells him that there's no time to explain and all Brett needs to know is that everyone he trusts except for Erik is voting for Erik, so he should, too. "You gotta get on the train because it's already left the station," John says. Dave Ball says Erik is "cancer" and must be cut out. I love how this episode is basically showing us that Dave Ball is responsible for the fall of Galu. Brett interviews that he's planning on flying under the radar until it's time to "step it up" and "make a few decisions." How do people really think that that's a good way to win a million dollars? Airhead.

It's Day 23, and Shambo and her sworn enemy Laura are sunning themselves on the beach. Laura asks Shambo about her family, which she's about to seriously regret. Shambo says she has eight siblings. "Your brother passed away, right?" Laura asks, because that's something people enjoy talking about. Shambo says she actually has two dead siblings: her brother Terry, who died at three months from meningitis, and her sister Donna, who died from breast cancer the day before her 27th birthday. Yikes. "That's sad," Laura says, not sounding sad at all. Then, breezily; "well, they're better off." Um ... WHAT?? WHO SAYS THAT? I mean, even super religious people who believe that there's an awesome afterlife waiting for us don't say it like that and with that tone. And about a THREE MONTH OLD BABY. And then, still lying down in tanning position (like she even needs to be more tan), she pumps Shambo for details about her much better off sister. Shockingly, talking about her dead older sister who was newly married and had so much to live for before her cancer returned makes Shambo cry. "Oh, Shammy," Laura says with what sounds suspiciously like a laugh. She does manage to be slightly consoling when she says that Donna would be proud of Shambo, but she follows that up with a weak thigh-stroke and a few punches (I don't know) while she remains lying in the sand because apparently Shambo's sadness isn't worth interrupting her tanning session. And even that's not enough, so she asks her more about the dead sister. Shambo was stationed in Okinawa, Japan when she found out that her sister was dead. Shambo cries and cries. Laura: "come on. Where's our sunshine?" My guess is it ducked behind the clouds to get a buffer zone between it and the heartless bitch determined to soak up its rays until she completely resembles a leather handbag with fake tits. Holy shit.

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Survivor

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