Survivor
The First Exile

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Banished! Stand Over There!

Over at Older Men, the fire is big and successful, and wood is being chopped. Bruce -- of whom you will hear very little during this episode -- is the fourth man in addition to Cigarette Shane (whom we will meet some more in a moment), Terry, and Very Pale Dan. Terry, now introduced as a Fighter Pilot, says that they're "stoked," because they're the older guys "doing the Boy Scout thing." Very Pale Dan now meets up with Terry on the beach and says, "Can I trust you?" Terry says Dan can, and instantly finds himself on the receiving end of an alliance offer of sorts, of the "I'll never lie to you, how about you never lie to me either?" variety. It's a little bit early for this, and Very Pale Dan comes across like he's a bit too desperate for friends, the way people sometimes are when they've only been socially acclimated to zero-gravity situations. Still, Terry and Very Pale Dan shake on it. "In that case," Dan says, "I have a secret to tell you." It turns out that Dan has revealed to the guys that he worked on the space shuttle at NASA, but he has not revealed that he flew on the space shuttle. Terry thinks this is quite neato, and he grins. What's more, Terry has something to reveal as well. He told the guys that he's an American Airlines pilot, which is true, but he didn't tell them that he flew F-14 fighter jets. Very Pale Dan interviews that he found something in common with Terry on the pilot front, but then he drifts off into discussing the similarities between exploring space and going on Survivor, and that's where I check out. Because...no.

Shane, meanwhile, tells us that he's kind of bummed out being stuck with the older guys, who want to work all the time. So irritating. Furthermore, Shane -- the Marketing Executive -- explains that he smokes three packs of cigarettes a day, and that he's stopped right at this particular moment. Best shape of his life, man! He decides to lead off his attitude adjustment by telling the rest of the guys that it's time to stop worrying about hurting anyone's feelings. I'm not sure that's the biggest of the tribe's worries at he moment. His argument, it turns out, is that they don't need to be sending all four guys out to do things. I suspect he is not looking to be the one who goes so much as the one who does not go, if you know what I'm saying. He tells us -- but mostly himself -- in an interview that he has to get through the initial stages of being off cigarettes without yelling at anyone. "It is unbelievably hard," he says, "and I've been here a day." On the one hand, it is kind of unsettling that he made this choice to detox under these conditions. On the other hand, it's probably the closest we're going to come to someone being well-positioned to literally consume Jeff Probst's face.

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Survivor

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