Episode Report Card
Sara M: D | 2 USERS: B
March Badness

It's Day 10 at Tempura, and Probst claims that the tribe is still discovering how dangerous their environment really is. Please. Until a Survivor contestant is eaten by a native animal on location, I refuse to believe that they're in any real danger. Apparently, Douche woke everyone up in the middle of the night by screaming about seeing a snake in the shelter. That morning, he explains that he was just having a flashback to a time when he was in the Amazon and a snake wrapped itself around his neck. If that snake had hands, I'd give it a high-five. But it doesn't. Because it's a snake. Erinn says that when Douche screams about snakes when they're all camping out in the wilderness of Brazil, it kind of upsets everyone. Debbie interviews that when Douche screamed about snakes last night, everyone thought he was being "silly," but then she finds a snakeskin just outside the camp that I'm sure the producers didn't put there or anything. Douche tries to claim that it must have come from the snake he saw last night, and Brendan immediately says Douche said that was a dream. "Maybe it wasn't a dream," Douche says. Now that he's the Man of the Hour, he says that he really thought he saw a snake in the shelter rafters but then assumed it must have been his recurring dream. Debbie is officially freaked out, and decides that one snakeskin means their camp is "infested" with snakes. Nasty, poisonous snakes, to be exact. Way to judge the snakes without even getting to know them, Debbie.

Over at JalapeƱo, Taj is sitting in the water staring at her mosquito bites while J.T. and Joe try to play baseball with the local flora. Joe interviews that J.T. seems to be leading the tribe, and since they get along well, he's fine with that. Plus, it means the "spotlight" is on J.T. rather than Joe, but that's probably more because Joe's really boring than anything else. He claims that his strategy and social game are superior to J.T.'s, since J.T. is just a provider and an alpha male. With that, J.T. hits one right into Joe, who cries out in pain. J.T. hits a few more, and one goes flying off into the distance ... and supposedly plops down right next to Taj, who is very confused as to where it came from. Joe continues that he's anticipating things getting tense between him and J.T. as the game goes on. Taj continues to look for the source of whatever fell in the water near her, then sighs and gives up.

Over at Tempura, Douche decides that he needs more attention. So he stands in front of the tribe and starts conducting an invisible orchestra while singing along. But really, he's just trying to show off his conductor skills. Who cares? No one on Tempura appears to. The editors try to help Douche out by filling the music in for him. Then they show us an interview with Erinn, who says "who is this jackass? Coach is the biggest joke on the planet." She adds that she's in a tough spot because she doesn't like her tribe and they don't like her, but they're all going to pretend they're one big happy family. She's just hoping she can last until the merge. I hope so, too. With that, Douche finishes his symphony and demands applause.

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