Survivor
Survivor

Episode Report Card
Joanna: B- | 473 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Thongs, Schlongs, and Happy Songs

On Day 9, Lindsey feels better, but plans to spend her time resting in the shade. She tells us she was dehydrated and talks about her "sore kidneys." This ailment sounds like the equivalent of Nick's inflamed tastebud in the Outback. She tells us she'll be "cognizant," in the future, of her water intake. Silas tells us that Lindsey's injury was a victory for Oldskool. We then see Frank make his now-infamous comment that "Barbie went down in Africa." He tells us in a confessional, "I have no flexibility. If you're excess baggage, get the hell out of my way." Comments such as these are exactly the ticket to get picked for a reality show. Samburu packs up its belongings and heads off to Tribal Council. Kimp tells us they're so disjointed as a tribe they they're each thinking there won't be any harm in voting someone off.

Samburu gets to Tribal Council, and I feel like we see a lot less of Peachy in the third season, but maybe I'm just tuning him out. I feel like this show's been on forever, but Samburu hasn't even been to a Tribal Council yet -- they don't yet have their life-representing torches. Peachy asks how they've been getting along, and Playskool lies through their teeth -- which people like Carl, by the way, have helped make so even and white. Brandon says the experience "hasn't been that unpleasant." Lindsey thinks it's been great and that "everyone has been getting along really well." I can't respect that kind of blatant and dishonest ass-saving, particularly when it's so clearly going to be ineffective. Carl volunteers that Samburu has been having problems as a tribe, like a "water problem" and a "pot problem." It's those damn Gen X-ers again. He says they don't work as a team -- which isn't exactly the priority if you have a pot problem. Peachy then asks the other Samburus (my mother called them "Subarus" the other night) what they think of Carl's accusation that there's a different work ethic between Oldskool and Playskool. Except Carl didn't really say that, but he probably meant it, so I guess it's okay. Silas says that some of them do work harder than others, but that's the way it is, and "if you don't bend, you'll break." Peachy then points out the necklaces, acting like he just randomly noticed them and not like he's been just waiting for this dramatic scene. As he points at each member not wearing a necklace, he says, "No necklace, no necklace, no necklace, no necklace." Peachy is obsessed with the necklaces. Poor Peachy -- he wants one, too. It didn't occur to me that necklaces could have such a strong effect on people. I'll be sure to wear one the next time I want to piss someone off. Peachy asks whether the necklaces are symbolic, and once again Playskool denies something ridiculous to deny and further loses my respect. That is, if they had any in the first place. After Kimp says the necklaces don't "disclude [sic]" the other members of the tribe, Carl cuts through Playskool's blustering about with an "absolutely." Playskool still insists that they're all friends with each other at Samburu, but Linda wants to know "where [her] necklace is." Brandon admits to feeling vulnerable, and Lindsey once again tries to convince people that she gets along with them. Frank fesses up that he's too aggressive sometimes and doesn't have "too much room for a friendly smile." Are you getting that vibe from Frank? Because I'm not.

Survivor

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