Survivor
The Gods Are Angry

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Thongs, Schlongs, and Happy Songs

At Boran on Day 8, we see the big water jug has finally arrived. They all touch it an ooh and ahh at each other. They're excited not to have to worry about getting water anymore. I know it's exciting, and I'd rather them have it than Samburu have it, but how this is constituted as "surviving" is beyond me.

At Samburu, a sudden dust storm kicks up. We see the sudden dust storm. It looks like Random Ghost Town footage from an episode of Charmed or The Brady Bunch. We don't see anybody in the tents, but we hear Brandon's voice say, "I'm sure there are bugs all in that." I'm not sure what the point of that scene was, but then again I rarely am. Lindsey and Kimp check the treemail and unsuccessfully attempt to act their very cutest. The clue reveals that the tribes will each build a distress signal, and advises them, "Don't stop to gloat," which is obviously a desperate attempt to rhyme "you'll be facing the vote." Kimp tells us it's a "very unique, very different challenge." If you exclude the fact that they did exactly the same challenge in Pulau Tiga. We watch Silas and Frank orchestrate the building of their SOS signal using the "O" of their campsite, and adding brush to make each "S" around it. Lindsey says in a confessional that she wants an Oldskool person to fail at a competition so that they're aware of their weaknesses. We see members of Samburu working very hard to break and carry branches.

At Boran, they're having a fun time with the challenge. Happy music plays: la la la la la. Kelly wants her tribe members to lift her in the air so she can do a cheer. This girl sure likes the cheering. Kimj tells us that Boran can't afford to lose another member and be whittled down to only five people. She reveals that she brought acrylic paints as her luxury item, and that they should be useful in the challenge. She wants to make "bullet points" with them. Okay, someone has worked in an office for a little too long. Or else someone has been talking to Lex, the marketing manager. The tribe uses the paint to dye their mosquito nets, and make four brightly colored circles surrounding their SOS sign. Lex tells us the group thinks the paints will be the "secret ingredient that's gonna win this thing," and Tom's response is, "And I'm gonna have this feather in my ass!" He's also flapping his arms like a bird. I like watching Tom's animal imitations.

We see many shots of Lindsey working hard at Samburu, which would clue us in to the fact that something will happen to her, even if we hadn't seen it a billion times in the preview. Kimp tells us she was watching Lindsey work and noticed that she sat down; Kimp thinks that sitting down is not in Lindsey's personality. She tells us that Lindsey got "really sick, really fast" and that she had "severe pain in her kidneys." Is it possible to consciously experience pain in your kidneys? While groaning and writhing on the ground, Lindsey says she'd rather die than feel as bad as she does. She blames Frank, saying, "If we don't vote Frank outta here, I'm gonna kill myself." I'd be really embarrassed to be Lindsey watching my own little melodrama while this aired. Linda approaches Kimp and Lindsey and is told to go away before she can even start talking about the healing power of African tree spirit fairies. Linda tells us in a confessional that Lindsey is always talking about how strong she is: "I guess she's not so strong."

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Survivor

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