Survivor

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A | 877 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
The Process of Sugar Crystallization

Reward challenge! It's an obstacle course over mud and nets. Contestants must race across, grab a ball, run back, and shoot the ball into a small basketball hoop. The first person to sink three balls wins the reward, which is a helicopter ride to Loango National Park to visit a gorilla sanctuary, which is the best prize ever. I would suffer for 33 days just for that. There's also food, clean clothes, a shower, and a night in a bed, which causes Sugar to gasp in anticipation. The winner also gets to send someone to Exile, not like that matters.

Okay, a lot of this challenge involves running. That means that finally we'll get to see Crystal in action! I haven't given up on her yet! Probst says go, and while Matty is in the lead, Crystal appears to be in second place. Or is that third? Yes, it is. She's being beaten in a foot race by Ken. Sigh. Matty's the first to get his first ball and head back, followed by Ken and Bob. Even SUSIE is able to get her ball before Crystal does. Soon, all the contestants are at their hoops and realizing that this is easier said than done. They're pretty far away from the hoops, which are much smaller than a regulation-size hoop. Matty gets his in first. Ken gets his second despite having terrible shooting form. I guess all those games of NBA Jam! really did come in handy. While the girls keep missing, Bob gets a basket. He passes Matty coming back on his way back out.

Ken and Bob return to the hoops. Just as Bob steps up to shoot, Matty gets his second ball in. Bob gets his ball in, too -- on his first shot. Hooray for physics! Meanwhile, the girls have yet to make one freaking basket. It's embarrassing. I mean, Crystal? Really? You're 6'3"! You must have played basketball before! Ken soon sinks another basket and heads back out.

Matty gets back with his third ball first. He shoots, but misses. And here come Ken and Bob! Bob almost gets it in with his first shot. Ken and Matty come close with their next shots, but it's Bob who gets his third ball in first. He's thrilled, of course. Now he gets to see the gorillas and get street cred from his students for his mad B-ball skillz. Crystal laughs and tries to dunk her ball so she can get at least one in. She misses. SHE MISSES! CRYSTAL CAN'T EVEN DUNK A BASKETBALL! It's the greatest storyline of this season that an Olympic champion is one of the least athletic contestants this show has ever seen.

Survivor

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