Survivor

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The Process of Sugar Crystallization

Reward challenge! It's an obstacle course over mud and nets. Contestants must race across, grab a ball, run back, and shoot the ball into a small basketball hoop. The first person to sink three balls wins the reward, which is a helicopter ride to Loango National Park to visit a gorilla sanctuary, which is the best prize ever. I would suffer for 33 days just for that. There's also food, clean clothes, a shower, and a night in a bed, which causes Sugar to gasp in anticipation. The winner also gets to send someone to Exile, not like that matters.

Okay, a lot of this challenge involves running. That means that finally we'll get to see Crystal in action! I haven't given up on her yet! Probst says go, and while Matty is in the lead, Crystal appears to be in second place. Or is that third? Yes, it is. She's being beaten in a foot race by Ken. Sigh. Matty's the first to get his first ball and head back, followed by Ken and Bob. Even SUSIE is able to get her ball before Crystal does. Soon, all the contestants are at their hoops and realizing that this is easier said than done. They're pretty far away from the hoops, which are much smaller than a regulation-size hoop. Matty gets his in first. Ken gets his second despite having terrible shooting form. I guess all those games of NBA Jam! really did come in handy. While the girls keep missing, Bob gets a basket. He passes Matty coming back on his way back out.

Ken and Bob return to the hoops. Just as Bob steps up to shoot, Matty gets his second ball in. Bob gets his ball in, too -- on his first shot. Hooray for physics! Meanwhile, the girls have yet to make one freaking basket. It's embarrassing. I mean, Crystal? Really? You're 6'3"! You must have played basketball before! Ken soon sinks another basket and heads back out.

Matty gets back with his third ball first. He shoots, but misses. And here come Ken and Bob! Bob almost gets it in with his first shot. Ken and Matty come close with their next shots, but it's Bob who gets his third ball in first. He's thrilled, of course. Now he gets to see the gorillas and get street cred from his students for his mad B-ball skillz. Crystal laughs and tries to dunk her ball so she can get at least one in. She misses. SHE MISSES! CRYSTAL CAN'T EVEN DUNK A BASKETBALL! It's the greatest storyline of this season that an Olympic champion is one of the least athletic contestants this show has ever seen.

Probst calls Bob over and tells him that, of course, he gets to choose one person to accompany him on the reward. Everyone looks at Bob pleadingly. Except for Susie, who isn't sure what's going on. I've decided that Susie found some Gabonese weed back in episode 2 and has been smoking it ever since. This would account for her incredible mellowness and spaceyness and also why she was so good at starting that fire during that challenge she won. Bob can't resist Crystal's pouty face and chooses her, which was a surprise. I didn't think they had much of anything to talk about. She's thrilled, and lets out a hilariously girly "oh thank you!" as she prances over to give him a hug. Probst then lets Bob choose another person to come with them, and Bob picks Ken without hesitation. Bob tells us that his picks were strategic, so he can try to get into some kind of alliance with Crystal and Ken. "I am trying to play for all the marbles in the pot," he says. Well, it's about time. With that, Probst ask Bob who he wants to send to Exile. He picks Susie, who giggles and asks if there will be Funyuns there. Probst sends Sugar and Matty back to camp. On her way out, Sugar blows the three a kiss and graciously hopes they have a good time. Matty tells us he's hoping to spend his time with Sugar convincing her to ally with him and vote Ken and Crystal out.

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