Episode Report Card
Sara M: A | 1 USERS: A+
The Process of Sugar Crystallization

With that, the three get their showers! Crystal, who is taller than the showerhead, is understandably thrilled, even though it looks like the shower stall is next to a window anyone could watch her through. But fuck modesty when you haven't showered in over a month. The contestants get fresh clean robes to put on while presumably their game clothes are being washed, and they all look kind of silly and uncomfortable in them, probably because they aren't wearing anything underneath those robes. At least, that's what Bob's hospital gown walk suggests. Clean, fed, and robed, the three are approached by two men from the gorilla project. Africa's Eden is an orphanage for gorillas who were orphaned when their mothers were killed for their meat. I think it takes a certain kind of evil to kill gorillas, especially when they're holding their babies, which is why I wouldn't be surprised to hear that the gorilla population took a nosedive during the time Corinne was in Gabon.

And now, the gorillas! The three watch from an observation platform. The silverback gorilla steps out to check them out, and Bob is amazed by the size of him. He tells us that he felt a connection with the gorillas when they looked at him that "rocked [his] soul." Yes, exactly. Which is why I can't even begin to understand how people could kill them and eat them. I don't know how you could do anything but stare at them in awe. Not like we'll even get a chance to do that, because the segment is quickly over without even showing us adorable baby gorillas.

Instead, we check in on Susie. No fool, she picked Comfort and is enjoying cantaloupe while swinging in the hammock. This would not be comfort for me, as I am allergic to cantaloupe. It makes my mouth itch. I'd probably eat it anyway, though. But I wouldn't be comfortable! Susie says it's great to step out of the game and not think about anything for a while. Which is exactly what she does when she's in the game, so I don't see how this is different except that here there's a hammock and fruit. Susie says they'll have to change the name from Sugar Shack to Susie Shack. Very original, Susie.

Back at Nobag, Matty tries to convince Sugar to turn on Ken and Crystal. He says it's frustrating that they got to go on the reward, but Sugar's not biting. She says they got to go to the Gabon village and have a cultural experience and food there, so it's cool that Ken and Crystal are getting something like that, too. Yeah, except that Sugar and Matty had to share that experience with Corinne and Randy, which knocks the enjoyment factor down by 99%. Matty says he's been trying to get rid of Ken and Crystal for the entire game. That doesn't reflect well on you, Matty, since they're still there. Sugar doesn't seem to care. She just says that Matty better hope he wins immunity tomorrow, since he's the biggest threat. Uh, except for Bob. Somehow. Sugar tells us that she's glad she's not Matty, since he's next to go if Bob wins immunity. She tells Matty that she's in an alliance with Ken and Crystal. He pouts and says "brilliant thinking" and calls them "the evil three." Actually, it is brilliant thinking, since Sugar wouldn't have a chance in the finals against Bob or Matty, so why would she want to keep them in the game? She says her loyalty is more with Ken than Crystal, but he could be lying to her. Matty says he's sure he is. Sugar tells us that it doesn't really matter if Ken is lying to her or not, because Matty is a stronger physical threat. Matty makes a total non-power play of saying that no one will vote for Sugar next, since she has the idol and it's her last chance to play it. So she should give it to Matty, instead. Except that SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU IN THE GAME, MATTY! Moron! "Oh, Matty," Sugar sighs. "Screw that," Sugar tells us. She's using her idol to ensure that she's in the Final Five. Duh. Matty figures out that he's on his own now, and no one's going to try to save him. If he doesn't win the next challenge, he's out. At least he acknowledges that he got himself in a bad position.

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