Survivor

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Sara M: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Bob Is Full Of Craft

Now that the contestants are good and emotional, Probst tells them that for a reward, they'll get to see the rest of the message their loved ones sent them on the product placement phone (which they cannot, apparently, use to call said loved ones. Nice international coverage, Sprint) while eating typical nasty Survivor pizza, brownies, and drinking beer. "You'll fill up your belly and you will fill up your heart," Probst says cheesily. Plus, no one has to go to Exile "Island." With that, Crystal and Susie draw the captain rocks and get to choose their teams. Susie wins the first pick because Crystal can't even win a rock, paper, scissors match, and she goes for Matty. Crystal picks ... Sugar. Whaa? The only person less useful in challenges than Sugar is Crystal. And since Crystal is the one picking, that means she's chosen the worst person the entire group. It doesn't make sense. Matty picks Ken. Sugar picks Bob. Corinne doesn't get picked at all, so Probst explains that she doesn't get to play, so there will be no chance at a reward for her. That sucks. That super-sucks. I hate Corinne, but that's really unfair. Why not do this challenge when they have an even number of players? Like last week? When Randy was there? And we could have seen the video of his dog's ashes? Corinne tells us that the team picks made it very clear where she stands in this game, as if the last thirty-three days hadn't done that already. She doesn't want to go home, but she doesn't know what she can do to save herself.

With that, the Corinne-less teams are off! Since she's tied to Sugar, Crystal won't get a chance to show off her Olympic speed. Surprisingly, Crystal's team takes an early lead despite Sugar's frequent falling and losing her top. Crystal drags her along, showing actual athletic prowess for the first time since Athens 2004. Her team is the first to reach the first station of pieces, but Susie's team is pretty close behind. Susie's team catches them on the way back and take the lead. They get their pieces back first and start the puzzle. Or at least, Ken starts the puzzle. Susie and Matty wisely leave it to him. Crystal's team (now with Crystal lagging behind ... sigh) soon return with their pieces. Now it's Bob's time to shine! His team works well, giving him the pieces he requests, while Susie's team just kind of stands around and watches Ken. Crystal's team is the first to raise their flag, and Bob does what appears to be another one of his celebratory herb garden hip thrusts. Susie's team wasn't even close. Closer than Corinne, though!

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Survivor

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