The Great Lie

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
Reports Of Granny Fairplay's Death Are Greatly Exaggerated

Shuffling around in the dark, Sandra rather hilariously voices over that she frequently listens in on conversations, which is how she "always [has] a working knowledge of what's going on." I guess that would be aside from the fact that last week, she missed the approaching power shift completely. (I realize there is a theory that Sandra is controlling the entire game and wanted the vote last week to go as it did; I do not subscribe to this theory.) This time, however, Sandra makes a very wise choice by bringing Tijuana with her to listen in on Burton and Jon's strategizing. Tijuana repeats this in an unnecessary pile-onterview. Sandra and Tijuana follow Burton and Jon on their walk, and sure enough, Burton and Jon obligingly have a conversation in which they confirm that they intend to take Lill with them to the final three. Burton comes right out and says to Jon that as long as they can deliver final five to Darrah and Tijuana, and as long as Jon strings Tijuana along about taking her to the final two, they ought to be able to keep the girls in check. I have one piece of advice for you if you ever go on Survivor: no matter how addicted you get to the fun of plotting, shut the hell up about your strategy, Boris and Natasha, and only discuss your plans when you absolutely, positively have to. Jon and Burton will never rid world of Moose and Squirrel if they keep this silliness up. All they needed to do at this point was boot Christa or Sandra, and the threat of what's happening right now -- a threat they should see blinking like a neon sign -- would have passed. Sigh. Idiots.

Anyway, in an interview, Sandra explains that it worked out great for her, because she got to have Tijuana hear for herself that she had no chance within the alliance of five that was created last week. Tijuana, meanwhile, explains in an interview that this gave her a bit of a "heads-up" and reminded her that she needs to focus on the game a little more clearly than she's been doing. Back at camp, still in night-vision, she explains to Darrah what she heard, and that she now knows they're hosed if they stick with Burton, Jon, and Lill. "The boys are taking Lill, not us," she says plainly. Tijuana whispers to Darrah that she had thought Jon might be thinking of taking her and Darrah to the final three -- not a bad thought, really, because Jon could easily have concluded that he stands as good of a chance against the Morgan girls -- often reviled as useless and lazy -- as he does against Burton. Tijuana realizes now, though, that he's going with the Burton/Lill plan instead. Darrah tells Tijuana, "If Burton doesn't win [immunity] tomorrow, his butt's gone." That's the ticket, you wacky mortician. And thank you for that sentence, as it is one of about five we have heard from you since play began a month ago. I was beginning to think Darrah was a mime. Wouldn't a mime mortician be a hoot? I'd love to see the great routine, Embalming In An Invisible Glass Box. Tijuana and Darrah agree that they hope Burton doesn't win immunity and is available for booting.

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