Survivor
The Great Lie

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Reports Of Granny Fairplay's Death Are Greatly Exaggerated

Back in Sandra's rant, she yells at Jon that she hopes Tijuana, Darrah, and Lill will "turn on [his] ass." Well, I guess she told him! Seriously, what kind of a declaration of war is that? "I hope your alliance that will otherwise oust me doesn't hold together, and that I am somehow saved at the last minute!" Oooooh, you go, girl!

"Who threw the fish out?" Burton asks, opening a new chapter in tonight's ongoing Festival of Highly Questionable Behavior. "Sandra, did you throw the fish out?" he asks calmly. She hollers back in his face: "No, I'm hungry, what the fuck am I gonna do with throwing fish out?" As it turns out, Rupert had fished in the afternoon and left the fish in a bucket, and now they're gone. Burton seems to suspect Sandra more than Christa initially, probably because Sandra does seem to be the loopier of the two. In the end, though, he concludes that Christa is responsible, because Sandra credibly points out that she was flapping her yap the entire time, and it seems logical that it would have been one of the two of them who wouldn't want the tribe to have Rupert's fish. Christa denies involvement, and Sandra continues to deny involvement as well. Jon insists that he thinks he even saw Christa skulking around in the area where the fish were, so suspicion begins to center on her. In an interview, Jon -- without a hint of irony -- says, "That was the most idiotic, childish thing I've seen since this game has begun, and Christa will be penalized." The idea of his talking down other people's behavior as "childish" is really so ironic that he's lucky that oft-repeated bolt of lightning didn't come dashing over and take his head clean off at that moment. Moreover, if he would really change who he votes against as a result of that incident, he's not as good a player as he thinks -- but I suppose we've pretty well established that already. ["Finally, he didn't 'see' jack, so shut up, Jon." -- Wing Chun] Christa interviews that everyone apparently now believes she tossed the fish, so she fully expects to be voted off next.

We then actually see the abandoned fish lying out in the jungle with little crabs crawling all over them. Oh, the humanity! Or...you know, the fishiness. There's a really horrible "the fish have crabs" joke in here somewhere, but I'm not looking for it. You could, but what would your grandmother think? More on that later.

The next morning, Burton, Jon, and Lill agree that they can smell the fish and could smell them all night, so they can't be far. Jon, by the way, has returned to his kerchief-on-the-head look, and appears to be the second coming of the ugliest housewife stumbled across in 1948 by a now-traumatized former door-to-door vacuum-cleaner salesman. Burton says that he and Lill can go get water, and Jon can look around and try to trace the smell, presumably because he's the least likely to be distracted by the stench of himself. When Burton and Lill take off water-hunting, though, they abruptly run across the fish, strewn all over the ground just behind the camp. As they recover the fish, Lill interviews that Christa swears she's innocent, but Lill thinks she did it, essentially out of anger that Rupert was booted. Around the morning fire, Christa continues to insist that she had nothing to do with it, and Burton tells her that she is the only person who could have done it, so she must be fibbing. "You're lying. And you have a reason to lie," he says loudly. In an interview, Christa snorfles that she left the group for a minute to put her canteen down, and that they've all concluded that she threw out the fish during that time. She struggles with the frustration of having no way to prove that she didn't do it. I feel for Christa in one sense, but I also don't think she's a very nice person, and she has sometimes taken great pleasure in lording it over other people on the tribe that she has power over them -- remember, she gave Darrah and Tijuana a snotty dressing-down at tribal council in a way that was pretty gratuitous. To some degree, she's reaping what she's sown here. No one believes her because she hasn't shown any interest in, or developed any kind of friendly relationship with, anyone other than Sandra and Rupert. She spent several weeks convinced that those were the only allies she needed to get through the game, and this is what can happen when you become so fixated on your compatriots that you foment resentful feelings against you on the part of everyone else. Rule #1 Of Survivor: No Fomenting.

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