The Great White Shark Hunter

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
Okay, Three Isn't A Totally Magic Number

The plane flies over to Koror. There, Gregg is lighting the fires. But it's really too late to light the fires now, because the plane is almost here. I'm not sure how they misjudged this, because it seems really obvious that you can't do it this way. Indeed, as the plane approaches, Gregg admits that the fire is out. The observers can tell that the fires aren't lit, so Coby grumps that he thinks the odds are bad, because it looks like the team didn't get the fires going. Up in the plane, Jeff asks for an assessment of Koror's performance. Bob says that Koror's work, like Ulong's, is big. In fact, it's bigger. And best of all, it's down from the trees on a better stretch of beach. Bob says that he has enough information for a decision. Oh, Lord.

Koror is waiting at its beach when, of course, the crate drops down to them. They celebrate and jump about in the water, making use of the excess energy they have as a result of the absurd pampering they've been receiving. Even Caryn is included in the socializing, so maybe she doesn't suck as hard as I'm thinking. Ian and Tom, unsurprisingly, work together in bringing back the crate, as Coby and Caryn congratulate the team on this triumph of "brains over brawn." They crack open the crate and are happy to find sweet, inhibition-lifting, highlight-reel-enhancing red wine. And also in the package are a bunch of military MREs, so they've actually got some stable food with a little variety. As if that weren't enough, they get a bunch of new fishing stuff, and Gregg tells us that this will take camp life to the "next level." What the hell is the next level after where they are? The bungalows at a Vermont ski resort? They already have a giant, indestructible, waterproof shelter they didn't have to build, boxes of food, a picnic table, an apparently unending supply of ginormous and rather defenseless clams who can't do much except squirt to defend themselves, and a well-built bathroom with shower. What's left to give this tribe, tennis courts? A cabana boy? An open bar? An on-site masseuse? This already isn't Survivor so much as it is Vacationer for this team, and their embarrassment of riches is undoubtedly one of the reasons they keep winning. What more is there to give at this point? They toast themselves with wine out of little coconuts, just as you might on Island Night on the Pacific Princess, and Caryn interviews that they are "a well-oiled machine." Gregg also spares a sympathetic word for Ulong, down to three people and trying to keep up a camp and compete in challenges, all without the free house or anything like that. "They must just be absolutely beat up over this," he says.

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