New credits! Tinkly bell and gong sounds, because what would Survivor be without tinkly bell and gong sounds? Silhouettes of dancing natives and huge, gorgeous rock formations lead to paddling tribes. All the women are featured first in the credits, followed by the men. A lizard licks. People hug and kiss, but don't lick....yet. Maybe on The Real World Las Vegas, but our S16 need a little time to work up to that kind of stuff. Clearly, the baboon is the new scuttling crab; it's Survivor Thailand's It Animal. Gong! Survivor Thailand.

Tinkle, tinkle goes the music. The two pretty, obviously motored boats speed along. Peachy awaits the S16 on shore, and then commands them to follow him. One of the men wears a black cap pulled over his eyes. I don't need to add that he looks ridiculous. Peachy separates the garbage pails and spoons...er, "men and women," and then explains that they'll first have a "get-to-know-you." Each is to tell the others his or her name, age, and occupation, but Peachy adds that "if for some reason" they don't want to reveal that information, they can choose what to divulge. Stephanie is a twenty-nine-year-old firefighter/EMT from Fayetteville, Arkansas. She poses in uniform in front of her firetruck. Ghandia stands in front of a giant dome; she's an old-looking thirty-three -- a legal secretary who doesn't say where she's from. Forgetfulness or strategy? Hmmm. We know anyway: Denver. Erin is a twenty-six-year-old Dallas real estate agent with very big breasts. Helen is forty-seven, and a swimming instructor for the U.S. Navy. Penny is from Plano, and she sprawls on the ground in a pose I'm assuming someone, somewhere actually thinks is sexy. She's twenty-seven, and she's "in sales." Shii Ann is from New York, and although we all know her official title is "executive recruiter," she dumbs it down to "I help people find jobs" for the benefit of the slower members of the S16. Jan is a fifty-three-year-old, pigtailed first-grader...er, first grade teacher. Tanya is twenty-seven and a social worker. She's from Tennessee, even if she doesn't say so.