The Instigator

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
Cinema Para-grease-o

After some dramatic shots of the product-placed truck, it's almost time for the challenge to start -- but not before Jeff reminds everyone that, in the history of the show, the person who wins the car has never won the game. But anyway, no time to think about being cursed! Go! Rob is across the balance beam first, followed by Jenna, Big Tom, and Amber, meaning that Rupert the Non-Twinkletoed Pirate will not be taking the truck. Next up is the belly crawl and puzzle combination. Rob is out from under first, followed by Jenna, then Big Tom. Amber is last to get to work on her puzzle. Rob finishes the puzzle first, and then Amber. So Big Tom and Jenna battle, but he manages to beat her out, so Jenna will not be driving the girls (her kids, I'm saying, people) around in the truck, either. It's just as well. Nothing good becomes of a girl in a pickup, unless there's a lot of tequila involved. So the basket-toss is between Rob, Amber, and Big Tom. Amber is a savant at this for some reason, so she finishes almost immediately. Rob takes somewhat longer, but he is speedier than Big Tom, so it's the lovebirds going one-on-one for the car. Notably, Jenna really does root for everybody all the time, even after she's out, know, she is a blabbermouth, but she seems like a nice girl. I don't know. I admit I have unconventional taste in contestants sometimes.

Rob and Amber face off in the final phase. Ooh, Romeo versus Juliet! Tony versus Maria! Scarecrow versus Mrs. King! I'd like to be able to tell you it's a fight to the finish filled with heart-pounding suspense, but that would be a lie, and I would never lie to you. Rob quickly gets out a little ahead of Amber on the ladder, and then a little more on the bridge, and ultimately, he pretty much spanks her and makes it back to his new truck with time to spare. Jeff tells Rob that now, they're off to the movies -- but, unsurprisingly, he gets to bring one person with him. And equally unsurprisingly, Rob will be bringing Amb-ah, even though she's all muddy from the belly crawl. Again, this makes Jenna grin, because she thinks they're really cute and does, unlike most of these people, actually have the ability to be happy for people other than herself when something good happens to them. Jeff sends the rest of the losers back to camp. He tells Boston Rob to drive and banishes Amber to the back seat. "I'll take shotgun," Jeff says authoritatively. Hmph. You know, Jeff, that's how you get to be the most unpopular guy on the football team. Hogging shotgun is a major league ethical violation. It's up there with mishandling the keg. Rob starts the truck, the music swells, and off they go.

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