Survivor
The Killing Fields

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It's Hard To Be Brave When You're A Very Small Animal

Last week on Survivor, Michael made a Pigkiller and Jerri was a sucker for Cowboy. Mad Dog got booted off, which nearly made Joanna do some booting of her own.

At Ogakor Day 10, Tina tells us she and Keith were going to "git up" and go fishing, but just as they were getting ready to set out in the canoe, Jerri "popped up" and acted like she was taking the boat. In the accompanying clip, we see that Mitchell accompanies Jerri, as does Lamber, but they're not worthy of a mention, since the two of them combined don't add up to one personality. Jerri, half-asleep, appears to be just as calculating as ever. Tina and Keith let Jerri take the boat, since fishing was just a ploy for the two to have a private conversation. As Jerri and her winged monkeys take to the river, an ominous fog rolls in. And if you look very closely at the top far right corner of the screen, you can just make out Mark Burnett loading up the dry ice into the steam machine. No, really. Look again.

During their walk, Keith tells us that Tina and he learned their standings within the tribe at the previous night's Tribal Council, when Jerri named Mitchell, Lamber, and Cowboy as her friends. Which totally reminds me of these running lists I keep of my best friends and their rankings. Oh, wait -- I was in kindergarten then. My sister kept a similar list of which bus number every kid in her class was assigned to. Oh, the exciting dinner conversations around the Hughes family table. Keith tells us that Tina and he were "mifted" [sic] by Jerri's announcement. Tina then tells us that it's second nature for young people to gravitate toward each other, and she makes a strange "whoop!" sort of noise to better demonstrate the meaning of "gravitation" for her relatives back home. She tells us that it makes her feel like an outsider, and that sheis an outsider at this point.

The camera then cuts to a shot of evil Jerri in her evil little cap saying, "It was all I could do to keep from laughing out loud," and we have no idea what the subject matter is, but since it's Jerri, we can safely assume we've interrupted a conversation about terminally ill babies or homeless people or something equally tragic. And then she cackles. In an interview, Jerri tells that she immediately "sucked [her comment] back up" when she realized she was "challenging people to vote for [her]." The Blair Keith tells us that Jerri is perfect for the game, and that she will "ride the team until it's time to take the knife out and cut someone's throat." We then cut over to Jerri in the boat saying, "That was good stuff," and I guess we're supposed to think this is her response to throat-cutting -- and I'm not saying it wouldn't be, but most likely it's out of context here. We're all so very surprised. Keith gets his bitch on to Tina and says, "I didn't come up here to be pushed around by a bartender wannabe actress. Maybe it's time just to shake her world up just a little bit." We then cut back to the boat, and to a shot of a fish on the line whose world is being shaken up just a little bit. In the boat, Jerri makes a slack-jawed yokel face. So Mitchell is rubbing off. Keith tells us, "I came here to win the money, but now my motive isn't to win the money, but to do everything I can to make sure she does not win the money." That, my friends, should be the mission of us all. It's a battle cry, people. A call to arms for all the Jerri-haters of the world. We then see Keith reeling in and stabbing a fish, while Jerri looks pissed off in the fishing boat because I just called her a yokel.

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