In a short clip, an animal that looks like the result of the mating of my two dogs scurries about the outback. This little piggy's about to cry all the way home. Or to heaven. Or wherever it is that wronged little piggies go to die.
Back from commercial, there's a warning about graphic content. It must be pretty bad, since not once were we warned when Richard Hatch was frolicking about on his birthday. In his birthday suit. While most of the Kucha members sleep, Elisabeth appears to be washing her Frisbee. Nick appears to be ogling Elisabeth as she washes her Frisbee. Kinky. Nick spots a pig drinking by the water, and suddenly Mike -- asleep two seconds earlier -- is bounding through the brush, spear in hand. Seriously, this thing looks like a little black Babe -- it even has the matching little hair tufts. And it pretty much just stands there as Mike tries to catch it -- it doesn't even know to be scared of Mike. Nick shows up to help Mike and requests that Babe not "charge" him, which is like asking a furry little kitty cat not to gobble you up. Babe finally catches on that he's in danger when Mike takes a swipe at its tail. Not many animals like their tails being grabbed. Just ask Piglet, my dog. Or ask my husband, whose nickname is Porky. See any bias here, people? Because I don't. Babe ambles about the outback sniffing grass and prancing through the flowers when Mike starts in with the stabbing. And at this my mind goes blank and a vision of friendly Farmer Hoggett (looking an awful lot like Rodger), petting and loving Babe, takes over. Elisabeth looks horrified when Nick tells him Mike caught Babe, which confuses me because she's delighted to make his acquaintance again on her plate later on. Nick is creeped out but excited. Nick says it was gross, and Elisabeth adds, "Brutal." Smiling over the corpse, Mike tells us that "life is just a funny little blending of experiences and this is just one of them." He is mesmerized by the dead animal which is just below the camera and invisible to us, but must be singing and dancing its heart out to keep Mike's ravenous attention. Mike gleefully sharpens his knife and says that he's not sure how the tribe will feel about the murder, but that if he's going out, at least he's going out full. He then smears Babe's blood on his face. Elisabeth approaches and says, "That looks like a murder scene," and really, we all do like to chow down on the victims of what appear to be murder scenes. Jeff can't stop smiling: there's murder and strife among his tribemates. Elisabeth starts crying and says, "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God," while Alicia wryly comments that there's "lots of butchering going on in Kucha camp today." Jeff then adds that it's "nothing like a chicken, that's for sure," and Nick says, "It's the craziest thing I've ever seen in my life." Mike and Rodger put Babe on a little spit. Jeff takes great pleasure in telling Kimmi that Mike caught Babe and that there's "going to be a lot of ham and pork and bacon coming up in here soon." Kimmi calls Kucha a "sick tribe." Pig parts hang from all the trees around Kucha like party decorations. At Ozzy Osborne's house. For such a small animal, Babe appears to have produced a lot of meat, which can only be eaten by Kucha once, since I don't think they have the means of preserving it. We then learn that Kucha tribe, save Kimmi, actually respects Mike for his villainy. They all ooh and aah over Babe as they devour him. Elisabeth makes a very surprised "this is good!" face which I find incredibly annoying. She then says "Whoa. We're gonna get strong now," in a little baby voice, kind of like sweet little Babe would sound...were he not just brutally murdered.