The Pagong team, wearing yellow, is Gervase, Colleen, B.B., Ramona, Greg, Gretchen, Jenna, and Joel. Gervase is a youth basketball couch from Philadelphia. He's "excited beyond belief." Colleen is a college student from Miami; B.B. is a retired contractor from Kansas; Ramona is a biochemist from New Jersey; Greg is a "journeyman" from Colorado; Jenna is a college student from New Hampshire; and Joel is a traveling salesman from Arizona. Although the CBS website says Gretchen is a "homemaker," the credits here list her as a teacher. Don't ask me how they manage to make continuity errors out of real life.

We're tortured through some more self-important proselytizing from the narrator who explains the purpose of the "tribal council," in which a team meets to vote off a member. Except when he says it it takes twice as long and makes it sound like the losers will be executed, not sent off the show to reap the multiple benefits of talk show interviews and book deals. Unless you're Richard, that is, and you end up in jail for child abuse.

Our first glimpse of the Tagi camp: They've hit land and instantly started feuding. In a confessional, Kelly tells us that Rudy "may be seventy-two years old, but this isn't his world." Oh right, Kelly. It's your world, not the world of CBS, producers, camera crews, an audience of millions and editors who are already working to make you The Bitch. Or don't you need any help with that?

Pagong team is still on their raft three hours after "marooning." They finally reach shore and party like it's 1999 or like they think they're on Road Rules. They've completed their mission, now where the hell's the handsome reward? Ramona, who was in some obvious angst on the raft tells us in a confessional that she doesn't like the water: "I'm used to being in a lab with my lab coat on in the air-conditioning, but this is like outdoors, twenty-four seven." I guess it doesn't take a rocket scientist to be a biochemist.